Chapter Thirty One

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M E A N I N G F U L
M I S T A K E S
Chapter Thirty One

M E A N I N G F U L M I S T A K E S Chapter Thirty One

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I can't be caught.
I can't be caught.
I can't be caught.

It continues to play in my head like a broken record. No matter how much I try and mute it- it never goes away.

I'd become so good at hiding things that it was deadly. I wish I were strong enough to have stopped myself before I'd fallen down my dark well. Before I drowned in old memories and habits.

I'd lost my battle.

Lolita Brown is hopeless. She's her mother's daughter who sees no end. She'd been programmed to believe having control on her bodily function is the right way to numb everything.

The moment I feel the first wave of the distraction of binging then purging, I struggle to stop. It was a euphoria I chased. It brings me comfort. It handles my pain.

For a while I've managed to hide on the abandoned staircase, and the two bells to signal the end of lunch have rung.

My phone that is buried in my pocket hasn't stopped silently buzzing. It's beginning to annoy me because I know on the other end are people trying to contact me- then my life will be turned upside down again.

I pull it out of my hoodie pocket and widen my eyes at the amount of missed calls and messages from William, Becky, and even Hunter.

My life wasn't about to be tipped outside down- it's about to be put in a box and shaken until it breaks to pieces.

"Gosh, what have you done?" I mutter to myself and run my hands through my hair. This is a disaster. I'm a disaster. Again.

I have created such a big mess that I can't clean. This is the chaos that I'm use to. All I wanted was for this to be normal, but I can't. This is my normal, yet to other's it's not seen the way it is for me.

My phone rings again in my hand. Hunter's name is across the screen. I swallow anxiously at each letter. I ignore it and shove my phone away in my pocket.

My back is been begging for me to stand and go for a walk to stretch it instead of the spine being uncomfortably dug into the wall. Yet I can't move. I don't want to go anywhere.

If I were brave enough, I'd creep away and run to my dad's house to hide there. Although I would have to face this battle sooner or later.

William Henderson would've heard everything. I have no doubts that the blond boy is racing around the school trying to find me and confirm the nasty rumours.

The rumours that are mostly true.

"You know," a voice startles me, "William sent out his own little search party for you." Ian has rounded the corner and approaches.

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