The Skeleton In Me

Chapter Fourteen

Chapter Fourteen

Dinner was exhausting. Candace prodded me, wanting to know about my personal life; things I wasn't willing to tell. He didn't need to know about Katie, or my over-protective mother, or how my family was as poor as the dirt people kick up with the heel of their boots. 

I did pretend to be interested in anything he told me, the longer he talked about himself, the less he focused on the food on my plate, giving me the opportunity to slip some meat and bread into my pocket.

When dinner was over, none of us had to bother packing up the circus tent tonight, since we were holding another show tomorrow.

I made my way over to our train cart and opened the door. Cousin was chained in his usual spot and didn't bother to even acknowledge me as I hoisted myself into the cart and shut the door until only a small slit was open for moonlight.

Outside, crickets were chirping, and there was light talking from the dancers in the other train carts. I couldn't make out what they were saying, but some of them were laughing, and I even began to hear a few girls singing a soft tune.

It, despite mine and Cousin's circumstances, was a calming evening. 

"I brought you more food." I told Cousin, not even caring if he threw it back at me like before. I wasn't going to give up trying to feed him just because he was being stubborn.

Eventually, he is going to have to learn to trust me.

I dug out the bread and meat I had snuck in my pockets and placed it in his reach. He didn't seem interested in it, as he stared at me instead.  

We made eye-contact, I wondered what he was thinking, his face was emotionless, as if he were studying me, like I was the peculiar one.

After all that I was doing for a man I barely know, I was beginning to think that was true.

"I know I said it already." I tell him, as I take my usual spot against the wall. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I sighed, "But thank you for listening to me today."

His eyes narrowed, and I pretending to not notice just how menacing the shadows made him look under the thin strip of moonlight.

A knotted strand of hair fell in front of his eye, and I desperately wanted to grab it, and cut it with a pair of scissors.

I couldn't do that, not until we escaped. Not until Cousin gained more weight. Not until I had a plan ready.

Not until he and I could undoubtedly trust each other.

"We're going to have to do it again tomorrow. The crowd seems to love to watch our miserable act." I shook my head, "They're all disgusting."

"Disgusting." He breathed, which took me by surprise. I didn't expect him to speak to me tonight. I assumed he was still mad at me for refusing him last time he spoke. His eyes dropped to the floor, as he yanked the chains around his wrist, "The only one who disgusts me, is you."

I stared at him, unable to comprehend his words, "What?"

He clenched his jaw, and slowly moved his eyes back up to me, as if it were torture to even try. "You disgust me."

I felt like I had just been slapped in the face. I should be furious, but I only felt hurt. "I'm trying to help you."

His voice came out in no more than a pleading whisper, "Then end this."

I shook my head, not even realizing just how much his pleading affected me. It is not possible to refuse him and feel good about it. Even if it is refusing to end his life. "You know I can't do that."