Tearless Sadness

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     [Y/N] felt like she couldn't really move. She was standing there, frozen, unsure of what to do. It felt like she was back to being a kindergartener and had stage fright in front of hundreds of people during her school play. But that was when she still cared about things. And this was not a school play. Yet it felt just like it.

     She knew people talked about her sometimes, but never had she heard them accuse her of something as awful as this. For once, ever since her father died, she felt like crying. But of course she was not going to, especially in a public space like this. She was also not going to break her record of not crying for years.

     So she kept those tears in and headed into the classroom. She put up an emotionless face and passed all the students who had just mindlessly accusing her a few moments ago. They were all now silent and stared at her nervously as she sat down onto a desk.

     They thought she didn't hear anything, so they went back to their chattering. Soon class started and everyone hushed again. Inside, [Y/N] wanted school to end as soon as possible today.

     When the school bell rang, she dashed out of her classroom and retrieved her items before leaving the building. She was rushing home as fast as she could. She was so tired of everything. She was so tired of being talked about. She was so tired of knowing that people whom she usually encounter were disappearing. It all made no sense. She was also so tired of being curious of this situation when she had told herself to lose emotions. Losing emotions were harder than she thought.

     Suddenly, a warm hand grasped her wrist. She whipped her face around to see Hitoshi.

    Dammit, she had her distressed face on, an emotion in which she'd never shared with anyone. She quickly replaced her face to be neutral. "U-um, hi Hitoshi. Can you please let go of my wrist?" she said to him.

    He bit his lip and quickly let go. "Sorry, ahahah, I didn't mean to intrude your bubble."

    "Why are you here?" [Y/N] asked him with a pinning stare.

     He gave her a small smile and scratched his beautiful purple hair. "I...uh...saw you on the way out and it looked like something was troubling you....and....you looked worried a bit."

     Curses ran through her mind. Apparently he did see her distressed face. "It's nothing, Hitoshi," she brushed it off. "I should go now."

     "It was not nothing," he persisted. She tried not to grit her teeth when she stared at him. Why can't he just stop bugging her?

    "It was. So if you excuse me, I'm going to be late for dinner," she said. She turned to leave, but once again, her wrist was grabbed again. She looked back at Hitoshi coldly. "Let go of my wrist."

     "No," he retorted.

     "You're no longer my friend," she told him. His eyes widened and there was hurt in them. He knew she wasn't kidding. She was never kidding. But he couldn't stop here; not when he knew something was up with her.

     "I know something has happened to you today. I'm not going to let you go until you tell me what it is. Stop hiding your emotions. Please. I don't want you hurting alone like that," he explained to her.

     She felt like tearing up again. "I already told you it's nothing. I have no emotions anyway."

     "Of course you do. You're a beautiful human being, [Y/N], so you do have emotions," he murmured.

     "Just let go of my fucking wrist," she hissed at him.

     "That's emotion right there," he pointed out with a smug smile. She widened her eyes and mentally cried. He had played her. She closed her eyes and slid down right to the sidewalks and covered her face with her hands. Hitoshi let go of her wrist and sat down beside her and didn't say anything to her.

     She held with all her might to stop the tears flowing.

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