The Flame (Avengers Fanfiction)

51-hope is a dangerous thing for a woman like me to have

Eventually, I find myself getting stitched up as a different nurse spreads freezing cold jelly over my stomach. Natasha was the one to tell Steve and I that we needed to make sure the baby was okay. The nurse, who herself looks shocked at what had just occurred, slides the little wand over my lower stomach. Steve squeezes my hand, both of us waiting to hear a heartbeat. I don't care about the pain of my wounds being stitched up, I'm too focused on the grainy screen. My eyes are narrowed in on it like it's the only thing in the room.

Thanos's snap had spared my little boy. That joyful noise filling the room makes me break out in tears again, these ones much happier. The nurse prints out the sonograms for us. We didn't ask her too, but she does anyway. I wonder how many people she's lost. I feel like shit. There's so much death around us and here I am rubbing it in that I didn't lose everything like others have.

"There you go, Mrs Rogers. Baby looks fine and you're all stitched up." The nurse says, handing me a wash cloth to wipe my stomach with and handing Steve the sonograms. Steve thanks her as I clean myself up. The nurses leave the room, leaving us in it alone.

"He's okay." Steve is the one to break the silence as I carefully sit up, zipping my suit back up. His eyes are focused on the sonograms.

"I'm so glad he's okay." I respond, carefully moving my legs as my eyes stay on him. My husband had made it out physically okay. Emotionally, well that was a different story. He had lost a good chunk of the team and he lost Bucky again. I stood carefully, walking a step to where he was seated. I cupped his scruffy cheek, tilting his head up towards me. Steve sniffles, his blue eyes full of so much emotion. He leans his head forward, his forehead touching my stomach as he breaks down in tears.

I wrap my arms around him, my fingers running through his hair as he lets himself let down his walls. Steve's arms wrap around my middle as he continues to sob. Tears roll down my face as I try to console him. I cover my mouth with my hand as my finger combs through his hair, silencing my sobs. Steve Rogers usually doesn't show emotion like this, but it has happened. In this moment, he needs me so I pull my emotions out of my center stage and lock them in a box in my mind.

I can't tell Steve that it's going to be okay. I can't tell him that we are going to undo what has been done today. Those are false promises. I'm not going to lie to him like that. So I fill the air with truths.

"I love you, Steve Rogers. I love you so much. We both love you so much." I tell him, my voice soft. Steve sniffles, his watery eyes looking up at me. I hold his face and he leans into my touch. My thumb brushes away any tears that attempt to roll down his face.

"We should get going. The others will be worried." Steve says, his arms unwrapping from around me. He stands and I nod, not wanting to push him any more with his emotions. Steve wraps his arm around my middle, letting me lean on him as we walk out of the little room. We walk for a bit I until I force us to stop when I catch my reflection in a hanging mirror. The Peyton Stark who is considered a damn sex symbol was gone. The Peyton Stark-Rogers in the mirror had dark, sunken-in eyes. Her face and hair was covered in blood (both mine and alien) and dirt. There was already a large purpling bruise on my neck. I looked horrible, but Steve didn't let my focus on my image much and he kept on walking, taking me further down the hall. Eventually, we enter a small living area. Steve sits me down on the couch next to Rhodey.

"Are you okay? Is the baby okay?" Natasha asks, sitting up. Steve walks over to the little kitchen area of the room. The attention of Thor, Rhodey, Bruce, and Rocket the raccoon all land on me.