Life with the jokers: on tour

Part 19

Us.

I took a deep breath and focused on the video.

It started off a bit shaky as Joe attempted to hold the phone, then it stabilised. You could see me drinking half a bottle of alcohol on the sofa. On the right of the video was Sal doing the same thing.

"Do you guys want some music on?" Joe asked to us (on the video).

"Yesssss," I slurred. I put down my bottle and began to dance- without the music. Sal was clapping along to my dancing, then he stood up.

None of this video seemed particularly bad- apart from the excessive drinking. Behind Sal had to have been at least 6 bottles- all clinging to each other to resist the smash to the ground.

A song came blasting on and me and Sal began dancing together- uncoordinated, messy and sloppy. We both looked way too happy.

You could hear Joe sniggering in the background, giggling and sniggering. "It's not... it's not even a good song." He managed to say in between gasps of breath from excessive laughter. I seemed to ignore him and jumped over to the kitchen area- a large square area with enough room to transform into my dance floor. Sal clapped uncoordinatedly to the music- clap, clap clap, clap, clapclapclapclap, clap.

He joined me on the dance floor, bottle of beer in his grasp as he waved his arms around. Some splashed out of the bottle and unnoticeably fell into my hair.

Joe said, "Sal stop. We need..." He wheezed, desperately trying to get words out through his giggles, "we gotta leave now."

Sal stopped dancing and took one long look at Joe, "can we not right now dude? Let me just enjoy myself for a bit." At that moment I jumped back onto the screen, filling up his beer bottle with beer from another glass.

"Olivia, I don't think we should drink anymore," he gave a side eye to the camera as I, unaware, filled it to the top. Probably couldn't hear him. Too busy singing to the song in the background.

"We can drink a bit more," I urged him, crossing my arms until he took a swig of alcohol.

I began to dance again, appearing lighter on my feet, as I moved around the tour bus. Sal tried to convince himself he was sober by addressing the camera, telling it he's gonna tidy it all up later, leaving his drink on the side, and that he needs to 'take care of Olivia first.'

Sal came over to me and I threw my arms over him as I struggle to keep my balance at the same time. He helped me up, seeming stable on his own two feet. I stopped for a moment and looked as if I was about to throw up.

I did. Then Q. In unison. An ugly view, kept forever on film. I hated it.

He was, obviously, shocked, and managed to pull me off slowly. Then he held my shoulders and said something very quietly. I can't remember what he said. It looked very serious, then I quietened down, even giving a small side eye to Joe who took the hint and shut off the camera.

Black.

The end.

As far as I could tell I had no feelings towards him. But my drunk self says differently. I shoved the phone back in his pocket and fled- running past Rachel and Pete and the set and into the toilets. Solitude. Isolation. Desired solitude.

I leant against the bright white door and reflected on what I had witnessed. Don't say anything. Don't say anything.

No one needs to know.

After 5 minutes, I regained myself and watched the filming.

The guys were dressed like rich businessmen, but the makeup seemed to steal 5 years from their looks.

I walked up to a producer on the set, with a lanyard and clip board in her hand, who was stood next to Rachel, "hey," I said, "what's going on in this scene?"

"So the guys are just about to walk on. The whole episode is about this kind of rich, kind of famous family, who literally just pay enough money to have these guys visit them. It's really funny. The guys got told they could improvise their lines- they're so much better than what the writers have written."

"Oh, I forgot to introduce you," Rachel said, "this is Ryan."

"Hi," we said in unison.

"She's worked with us for years but we left her while we were on tour this month so she could work on her new TV show. Look how it's working out!" Rachel pointed at the whole set; lounge area, kitchen, fake garden, fake park, fake lake, fake funfair.

"I miss it so much," Ryan said, tying her blonde hair up. "But you've basically come to collect me today. I have to see the New York show!" She opened her blue eyes wide in anticipation.

"It's gonna be amazing!" I exclaimed.

The director called action and the whole building stood silent. The actors walked around the lounge, explaining that they'd just booked a comedy troupe to visit them. At the same moment the door bell rings. The actor opened the door and the Jokers paraded into the house.

They looked amazing. Qs hair was so neat, Joes clothes fit him so well, Murr's hair was back! And Sal looked alright. (I didn't take much attention to him in an attempt to tell myself it's not my brain that likes him. It was only when I was drunk.)

"Oh my god! You're Impractical Jokers!" The daughter screamed, standing from the couch.

"By day," Q said- moving into a Superman pose.

"We got your email. 'Want funny people. Must win a competition' what's that about?" Sal said, scrolling through his emails.

"Oh, we're having a competition tonight! And whoever brings the funniest 'friends' wins a new refrigerator!"

"A refrigerator?" Murr chimed in, disappointed with the anticlimax.

"Yeah!"

The scene carried on with similar bad jokes and over acting from extras. For example, the boy playing the youngest son would regularly remember to change his facial expressions when reacting, so would just stare at the audience and pull different faces. Angry, sad, happy, angry. Not quite right.

The Jokers pulled off an effortless first scene. They were so natural in the spotlight, so natural in making up jokes on the spot. It was like their superpower.

The director called scene and they bounded over to us. My heart was a rocket; ready to explode out of the atmosphere as Sal came over.

Do I tell him? Do I keep quiet? Does he know? Is he embarrassed?

"What did you think?" He said to me, wide eyed and excited.

I pursed my lips and nodded over-enthusiastically.

"What's wrong?"

What's wrong? Had I not just seen something which could potentially change my life? Yet I don't know whether to act on it or not. All I can think of is what-ifs and maybes which will never come true. But I don't know what I want- because up until a half hour ago I didn't want anything. Now the possibility of having something has thrown me completely.

'What's wrong?'

"Nothing."

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Sorry that I've only just updated! You should expect it to be more frequent now! I'm back on it!