Unwanted Allies- Dr. Jonathan Crane Story

Plans.

A/N: I have prolonged Ra's al Ghul's appearance. (The party thing doesn't happen.)

Lilah stayed the night at Christian's. He, of course attended Bruce Wayne's party, by himself seeing as how Selina left shortly after they found out about Jonathan. Thankfully, Christian had also returned alone and in Lilah's opinion, he seemed to hold quite the torch for Selina. Lilah had stayed up for most of the night and was also awake when Christian returned in the early hours of the morning. He was drunk when he returned home and was mostly interested in having strange conversations about Selina and Bruce Wayne (Mostly about why he was more popular than him) and to be honest, she quite enjoyed his company. He reminded her of the older brother she never had. 

Sitting on the leather couch, Lilah stared straight ahead, she needed to get to Jonathan. She refused to believe that he was no longer her Jonathan. There was no emotion. She wouldn't cry. She refused to. She knew it was weakness in Jonathan's eyes. She had to be made of stone. Unbreakable. She had cried already too many times in front of him after Mercious. 

"Good morning, my sweet frenemy." Christian's voice rang in her head. Lilah looked over her shoulder at Christian who moved towards her shirtless, yawning as he did so, 

"Christian." She greeted with a roll of her eyes. He was chipper for a guy who was probably still drunk and from what she could tell from last night, he was a depressing drunk. 

"What time is it?" He asked, stretching his arms. Lilah glanced at the clock behind him, 

"6:45am" she answered. "You've had probably an hours sleep. How are you feeling?" She asked, raising her eyebrow slightly. Lilah on the other hand, hadn't slept at all. Christian laughed lightly, 

"Oh honey, I am the king of long parties and little sleep." The pair stared at each other for only a few seconds longer before she glared, 

"Get dressed. We're going out." She informed him. 

"Where?" Christian asked, his brow furrowing, "I told you that going into Arkham Asylum now would be suicide." Lilah smiled, 

"I would tell you. But wouldn't it be so much more fun if it was a surprise?" She tried to make her tone as condescending as possible and Christian gave a reluctant roll of his eyes before nodding and turning on his heel, 

"Fine." Was all he said. 

Lilah refused to give Christian any information regarding where they were going- it wasn't because it was a secret, it was more to do with the fact that she thoroughly enjoyed screwing with the guy. "Are we going to... find Batman?" He asked, clearly running out of sensible and reasonable suggestions, 

"Are you an idiot?" She laughed in response. Christian didn't answer that. He simply clicked his tongue before changing the topic,

"Are women still into the whole flowers thing?" He asked, rubbing the back of his neck as Lilah kept her eyes on the road, sneaking a quick glance at him before returning her eyes to the road and then rolling them, 

"How should I know?" She asked.

"You're a woman." He scoffed, 

"Thanks for noticing." She retorted. She was actually slightly annoyed at Christian's new choice of conversation- he was clearly asking for advice about Selina, but she had more important things to worry about- Like... for example... Jonathan!

"No, seriously. This face has the won the hearts of many women. Just not the one I want." He sighed, "She at least seemed to be interested in my money. Guess that's something." 

"Have you tried being yourself?" Lilah asked sarcastically. Christian laughed, 

"Seriously? That would never work." Lilah rolled her eyes, "But, what do you think? Roses?" 

"I'm going to be honest with you." Lilah began, "The idea of jeopardising your imaginary relationship with Selina for some unknown reason gives me this perverse amount of joy... so... no, I will not give you advice on how to woo her as such. So, shut up." 

"Tell me where we're going and I just might" He said, flashing her a grin. Lilah paused, that was quite tempting, 

"We're going to find Edward." She caved, revealing her big secret. Christian sighed, 

"Nigma?" He asked, clearly wanting the answer to be 'No'. 

"How many other Edward's do you know?" Lilah asked, raising her eyebrow as she pulled up outside an old apartment block located in the narrows, 

"How did you know where to find him?" Christian asked as the pair exited the car, receiving numerous strange looks from the locals. 

"Your files." She answered, eyes locked onto the building. If anyone could help, it would be Edward. Christian stopped dead in his tracks, 

"So, let me get this straight. Your marvellous plan is to attempt to get help from the so called genius, The Riddler, without considering the fact that he is a narcissistic, obsessive compulsive moron in a green suit that will more then likely leave Batman a series of clues leading to your arrest." Lilah stared at him, causing Christian in grin in triumph, 

"Don't make me slap you in front of all these people." Lilah told him very seriously. Christian continued to smile as they stepped towards the door. Just as Lilah was going to place her hand on the doorknob, her phone started to ring. Pulling it from her pocket she frowned; she had sworn it was off. 

"Hello?" 

"Hello, Lilah. I hear you've been looking for me." Lilah bit her tongue, her eyes flicking to Christian who raised his eyebrow in question, 

"Edie. You've heard right. I'm currently outside your.... shack. Care to let me in?" Edward let out a laugh, 

"You honestly think I would give that fool Christian my location? I have many... hideouts. I will admit, this is one of them. However, as you can see, it has been abandoned for quite some time."  He told her in that smug tone that got under her skin.

"Oh, very clever, Edie." She smirked, "If that's the case, you know why I've come."

"Naturally. You want me to help you get your one true love, Jonathan out of the mess he's got himself into." There was a brief moment of silence as Edward sighed, "But first, I have a bone to pick with Mr. Sawyer." Lilah spun around to face Christian completely, whose eyes were locked down onto his own chest, more specifically, the small red dot that was hovering over where his heart was.

"Is this necessary?" Lilah sighed. 

"He made me out to be a fool." Edward hissed, "Now, he'll understand what it means to be the fool." Lilah swallowed, 

"I need him. So, I don't think blowing a hole in his chest is going to prove anything." She said, 

"To a simple minded woman like you perhaps." He replied angrily. Lilah sighed, 

"Why do you always have to prove you're smarter than everyone else?" She asked him. 

"I don't have to prove anything, love. I am smarter than everyone else." He replied to her question. If it weren't for the gun aimed at Christian, she would have made a smartarse remark. 

"Then help me." She urged,

"And why should I do that?" Edward replied. Lilah retrained herself not to metaphorically bite his head off. 

"Because, If you help me... I'll help you find The 'Batman'." She said finally. There was another brief moment of silence as Edward considered her offer, 

"You expect me to believe that you're going to help me find Batman out of the goodness of your heart?" He finally replied and this time, Lilah smile. She had him, she could feel it. 

"Well, I hope not. I mean, I am kinda a psychopath."  Lilah said sarcastically. 

"Why don't I believe you'll help me?" Edward said. Now Lilah was beginning to get irritated, 

"What do you want from me?" She cried, "A secret brotherhood handshake?!" After that stupid, yet hilarious comment, the line went dead, causing Lilah to groan. Her plan to gain an alliance with The Riddler was now ruined, all thanks to the secret brotherhood handshake.