HYUN [ JJK ]

17

"Jaehwa, I-"

Jeongguk didn't manage to finish off his words when the girl rushed towards him, didn't get to process what was happening when Jaehwa walked pass his frozen being to snatch her handbag from the top of the table. Everything about her—the way she acted, and how her face reddened left Jeongguk in bizarre but he was more than sure he didn't do anything wrong. Jeongguk wasn't lying this time—he really went to a supermarket for another episode of hoarding instant ramen and Hyun's formula, unlike those times where he lied about having a group discussion when the truth was he had a plan to meet Jimin at the casino.

Knitting his eyebrows together, Jeongguk put the grocery bags down rather hastily so that he could stand at the door before Jaehwa could leave the apartment. Now that she had stood just across him, Jeongguk could see how her cheeks flushed even redder, as if it her head could burst anytime soon. Her lips were slightly quivering, probably due to winter but come to think of it, this was the first time he saw Jaehwa shivering like that. He couldn't get a good view of her face as she was looking down at something Jeongguk couldn't tell, but he could sense that something was off. Something had happened while he's gone that her demeanour suddenly changed.

"Are you okay?" Jeongguk asked, tilting his head to look at her face but she quickly looked away. "Are you sick?"

"No." Jaehwa replied in a low voice, yet Jeongguk could hear how her voice wavered. As if she was scared of something, or maybe on the verge of crying, or maybe lying to him.

"Then why are you acting like this?" Silence was what Jeongguk got in return. He had no choice but to raise his voice slightly, the no-fighting promise they made before just had to be broken or else Jaehwa would continue lying and never telling him the truth. "Look at me when I am talking to you."

Hesitantly, Jaehwa looked up. She looked like she had a high fever that her lips started to quiver even harder when Jeongguk took a step forward to decrease the gap between them, the shades of red on her cheeks became more evident as time went by.

So Jeongguk absentmindedly placed his palm against Jaehwa's forehead, his other one was pressed against his to compare the temperature. Weird enough that he didn't feel any difference thus remarking that she was totally fine yet her face was too red that it scared Jeongguk to the core.

"Did you just see a ghost or something?"

Jaehwa shook her head furiously, denying his question completely. "Move."

Jeongguk's frown deepened when Jaehwa looked down again, didn't know what was so fascinating about the floor beneath them until she couldn't stop staring. It's so weird of Jaehwa to act that way since the normal Jaehwa who Jeongguk saw almost everyday always had things to complain, would never keep her mouth shut until he did what she wanted. Jaehwa had never been this passive, had never looked this awkward to be around him and that made Jeongguk's curiosity about what actually happened even bigger.

"I'm not moving out of your way until you tell me what happened. You are hiding something from me, aren't you?" Jeongguk guessed. He heard a long hiss from Jaehwa, saw how her hands were curled into fists when he lowered his gaze to the side of her body. Many thoughts raced in his head, and one of them was a worry if Jaehwa would throw a punch at him.

"Jeongguk, please-" She trailed off, almost begging. "Please, I need to leave."

"You said I am a coldhearted guy but when I'm trying to be nice to you, you shove me away." Jeongguk placed his hands on his waist firmly, inhaling sharply when he saw Jaehwa bitting the inner of her cheeks. "If you're sick then fine, I'll let you go home because that is not good for Hyun either. I will give you days off until you get better. If you are really sick then maybe-" Jeongguk paused to rearrange his sentence. "Maybe I can send you home. I already had enough with looking for a daycare centre and I totally can't bear losing a babysitter I already hired."

Jeongguk sighed, craning his head to look over Jaehwa's shoulder to see Hyun sitting on the floor, his concentration was fully on the toys sprawled around him. Then he looked back at Jaehwa, bitting his lower lip hard as he waited for her response. Weird, he thought. Jaehwa had never been this silence, and as much as Jeongguk hated to admit, he had to say that him being ignored like a statue like this made him so close to picking up another round of fight.

"I'm... sorry."

The words made Jeongguk's tongue freeze in no matter of time, couldn't believe what he just heard. A sorry from Kim Jaehwa? He wondered if the world was going to end soon.

"I'm sorry, Jeongguk." Jaehwa spoke in between her unstable breaths. The sight of her trying to breathe properly somehow made shivers run down Jeongguk's spine, and it made him question what she just did to the point she was that apologetic. "I- I-"

"You need to sit down." Jeongguk grabbed both of her shoulders before turning her around, guiding her towards the dining table so they could talk. "Okay, relax Jaehwa. I have no idea what happened or what you just did that you are suddenly apologising."

"I'm sorry-"

"I wanna know why you are sorry." Jeongguk interfered, could no longer hold himself to hear Jaehwa's endless sorries. "Did you- did anything happened to Hyun? Did he hurt himself while you were spacing out?"

"No!" Jaehwa denied, her voice filling the entire dining hall that it startled Jeongguk a tad bit. "I- I need time but- but I'm sorry if I ever hurt your feelings."

"What the-"

"I found out that Hyun is not your son. I was looking for the formula but when I was rummaging through the bag, I found a birth certificate. I- don't get me wrong, Jeongguk! I wasn't trying to pry into your life and I am fully aware of my limit. I know I am just a babysitter and I don't have the right to question you for what you did but-" She paused, lips agape when she looked up to see Jeongguk in his eyes for the first time. "I want to apologise for insulting you. I'm sorry for whatever nicknames I have given to you. I'm... truly sorry."

Jeongguk couldn't pinpoint what he was feeling at the moment. A part of himself was glad that Jaehwa finally found out about Hyun's status on her own so he didn't have to think how to break the news to her later, but another part of himself felt guilty, felt like he just lied to her even though it was Jaehwa who never bothered asking him. He nodded his head absentmindedly, trying to find the right words as a reply.

"O...okay." Jeongguk stammered, forcing out a cordial smile so the situation wouldn't be more awkward. "I actually have no idea how I should respond to this but... yeah, it's a good thing that you finally knew that Hyun is not my son. So I guess that will make you stop complaining about how bad I am at parenting and why I go out with my friends so often. It's because... as you just knew, I am still so new to the world of parenting. That's why I hired you so you can help me looking after Hyun."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?!"

"You never asked."