: eight :

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: eight :

"I am the fuck up" I told him my eyes watering and my voice cracking

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"I am the fuck up" I told him my eyes watering and my voice cracking

"Don't say that" He said softly

"It's true though" I sniffed

"You are not a fuck up Chris, if anything you're the strongest person I know" He tells me

"Really?" I asked in a quiet voice looking up at him, the tears building in my eyes threatening to fall at any moment

"Of course, you've gotten so far by yourself. Anyone else would be completely struggling and falling apart, you... you're holding it together so well" He told me. I quickly looked down trying to hide the tears that started to run down my cheeks. I heard Simon's chair drag against the floor as he stood up. He walked over to me and started rubbing circles on my back to comfort me.

"I'm sorry" I cried softly

"You've got nothing to apologize for Christine" He said in a hushed voice as he sat in the chair next to me

"C'mere" He held his arms out for me and I accepted the comforting gesture. I needed this. Someone who isn't my mum or my close friends to be here and chat things out with me like this, where I can cry everything that's been sitting inside me for almost two years out. Simon's that person. As much as I don't want to admit it, I'm so glad he showed up today. I don't know how much longer I could've held on to all this. After a while of me crying in Simon's arms Alexys started to cry. I sat up out of his arms and wiped my eyes with my sleeve.

"I need to go check on her" I said and stood up without giving him time to respond. I made my way upstairs to her crib and looked down at her standing up in her crib holding the sides

"Hey, mummy's here" I said to her quietly to calm her down. I leaned down to pick her up and cradled her in my arms

"Don't cry, we've got company downstairs" I shushed her after a few minutes of cradling her she quietened down. I readjusted my hold on her to have her resting on my hip and took her downstairs.

"Hey, sorry that took a while I was trying to quiet her down" I said as I walked back into the kitchen

"That's fine" He said

"So how old is she?" He asked

"She turned 1 on April 9th" I told him as I sat back down still holding her.

"Can she talk?" He asked

"A little, she says mummy and can say yes, no and other basic things" I replied

"So what's her full name?" He asked

"Alexys Hermione Minter" I looked up at him for a reaction, not too sure with the one I'd be given.

"Minter?" He asked in a small voice barley audible, he was surprised

"Yeah" I breathed

"Why?" He asked looking up at me his blue eyes looking pale holding so much more emotion than I could decipher.

"Because it made me feel better if she had something of you to hold on to if I never had the balls to come and tell you" I said and he nodded

"Can I hold her?" He asked after a couple moments of silence in which I assume he was taking everything in.

"Okay" I hesitated before answering.

"Just have one hand under her lower body and the other supporting her head" I told him as I passed her over being very careful.

"She's light" He chuckled looking up at me making me smile

"Yeah" I smiled stroking Alexys's hair

"So what do you do with her?" He asked

"We either sit at home or I take her to the park or something" I explained

"That's it?" He asked

"There's not much I can do with her you know" I chuckled sipping at my cup of coffee that was still sitting on my kitchen table

"I know. Doesn't that get boring sometimes?" He asked looking down at her as he gently rocked her from side to side.

"Extremely but there 's nothing I can do about it" I shrug cupping the mug of coffee in my hands.

"You know, if it's okay with you obviously, I could tag along one day when you take her out" He said his eyes, full of hope, meeting mine.

"I'd like that" I gave him a soft smile.

{a/n}

aaaaaaaaaah we're almost at 1k reads guys <3

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