Portals To Another World

□Love me for my thoughts□

His eyes were focused on the night sky, the light of the house casting a little light on his face.
We are laying on the grass, our backs damp from the dewy grass. The trees and hedges and pool are all black, the night making everything simple. I didn't know if I should speak, so I lay there, waiting for him to talk. When he does my eyes watch his lips move, finding comfort in his voice.

"Everyone thinks that one thing will fit everyone. But our brains are so complex that we are beyond different, we are so separate that... We might as well be a different species. Yet, body and behaviour wise, we act the same. We are raised to know that if we cry then someone will come, but if continue to do that we are given out to and said to be 'needy' so we stop crying as much, repressing our pain to retain our connections with others. As humans we have two very basic needs; to have social connections and bonds, and to be authentic, to be ourselves. Now what happens if being authentic means losing our relationships? What if to have one basic need covered, we must lose the other?"

My gaze drifts from his face up to the stars. Looking at the same sky as someone, it's more than eye contact, it's almost more intimate.
He continues,

"For example, when I came out as gay, my best friends acted as if I was someone else, leaving our friendship. For me to be myself to the world I lost a friendship, a basic human need of connection. Sometimes you have to pick if you wish to be authentic, or keep your friendships and connections. This is very hard to decide between as both are very important. "

He doesn't talk again for awhile and when I'm sure he's finished I speak in a quiet voice. My thoughts not forming in my head but on my tongue.

"If you choose to be authentic then you'll see who your real friends are, who love you for who you are. And who you aren't. You'll keep your connections."

He smiles at this, I can feel it radiating off him. He takes my hand gently and and laughs.

"So what are you trying to tell me? I've read all that in the books on your shelf." I ask.

He turns on his side and looks at me, his face happy and bright.

"I'm trying to tell you Skye, that you're the kindest guy I've ever met. And you love people for their thoughts. Not for their thoughts that they were taught."

"Sure you love me for my thoughts."

"Yeah, I do."
He smiles again and goes back to staring at the sky, his fingers tangled in mine.

"Take away ones deepest connections
And they will fall,
Yet let them be authentic
And they shall attract more,
Those, and only those connections,
Will help them stand again."