December // A Winter Soldier Story

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ｄｅｃｅｍｂｅｒ ３１ｓｔ， ２０１３

２２°

ℒℯ𝒶

It's all she can do to not fall apart on the spot. She doesn't know quite why he utters that heartbreaking word, but when she glances into those empty eyes of his, she knows that he really means it. He has no understanding of who he is.

But she also sees that there is a layer of carefully guarded pain laced into the word, like he is not as empty as he looks. Like under that cavernous expression, he is in a world of gut-wrenching agony.

It's as if he's trying to tell her that he wants more than anything to know what she is talking about.

So Lea gives him a small smile, and tells him a few of the words that he needs to hear. "Your name is Bucky."

This time, the name doesn't cause his head to snap to the side, or his knees to collapse out from under him. His only physical reaction is a single twitch in his right eye. He mulls over her words, twisting and turning them in his head in a desperate attempt to understand. She keeps going, hoping to spark something.

"You've met me before. My name is Lea," she speaks softly. His eyebrows furrow slightly at the mention of her name, but otherwise he stands completely still, staring at a point just past her shoulder with unfocused eyes. "You spent a night at my house after you were wounded once."

She can tell he is fighting his own mind. He closes and opens his eyes, clenches and unclenches his fists. He is digging for any kind of connection buried deep within.

"Your friend came to me, looking for you. Your friend Steve."

She doesn't need to say anything else, because these are the words that break through. His eyes snap to hers the second she utters Steve's name, his hands now suddenly still and his expression ablaze.

"Steve," he whispers slowly, testing out the word on his lips.

The hollowness that had been darkening his eyes before begins to clear as he speaks his name, the blue orbs growing brighter and wider. "Steve."

Lea nods in encouragement, her spirits lifting a bit as she watches him find a piece of himself again just through hearing Steve's name. She ruminates on the magnitude of the moment. Of how deeply their bond and love must run that just Steve's name, a simple, clear utterance of his name, can bring a war-torn, hell-bound soul back from the point of no return in just seconds. She never thought love could be this strong, but as she watches all of this happen before her very eyes, she thinks that maybe seeing really is believing.

Moments later Bucky glances at her again, with a number of emotions now filling his features. A second ago he'd looked as though he wouldn't make it through the night. Now he looks breathtakingly alive.

"I..." he begins, then pauses almost immediately. She is unsure as to whether he hesitates for fear of vulnerability, because he must find words that he likely hasn't spoken in a long time, or because he is terrified that what he is about to say is true. It very well may be a combination of all three. "I...know that name. Why...why do I know it?"

His voice is raspy, his body hunched over like he is trying to protect himself. He waits for an answer.

"He's your friend," Lea replies softly. "You have been friends for a long time. You grew up together and spent a lot of time together when you were younger."

He stares at the floor, thinking. His mind seems to be less foggy now than before, and his eyes are alert and focused as his brain works. Lea watches as his lips move absentmindedly alongside his thoughts. She decides to help him by giving him more cues.