Four

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Cassey


I wonder what could it be.....

If it's not about my mother why would she talk about me?

"As I said I wanted to talk about you, I know that it's not easy to have a broken family. I knew the feeling cause I felt it before but not the same age as you, your too young to experience this kind of things"

"So what are you trying to say that you just know what I'm feeling"  I said that lamely as I look at her with my emotionless eyes.

"No, it's not just because I know what you are feeling right now but also I wanted you to know that I will be here to help you" she said that to me with her usual calm voice with some emotions that I wouldn't want to know.

"Don't you help me just because your pitying me like a street dog, I can help myself"

"You don't understand I'm doing this ca-"  I cut her off before she could explain herself with some nonsense explanation.

"I said I don't want to!!" I said that through gritted teeth this woman is such a liar just like that b*tch how I hate people like this.

I don't care if I'm being such a jackass right now but who would even care my mother? That woman will just choose her works than this sh*t I'm going through right now like a good mother she is.

How I hate people get through my nerves. The woman stared to me like I'm such a poor lamb. Those eyes I hate that they held pity on them while looking at me. It's like it's seeing what's inside my soul through my eyes. But I can't let my guard down cause I knew once I let them down I will be lost to myself. I can't let that happen.

The woman in front of me heave a sigh and look straight to my eyes again. Now they held sadness. Tch, as if I care it's her fault anyway.

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have talked to you about this,but still I'm willing to help you in every way that I can. Cause I'm not just your teacher I'm your second mother I just wanted you to be happy and live freely like the other children, that you supposed to have"

"Whatever, I'm still wouldn't allow you to help just because I'm your student or whatever you wanted me to be."

I turn my back at her and walk away after that my feet just run fast. I feel like I'm not myself right now I feel terrible. This horrible feelings that I keep locking is finding they're way out through my eyes and they fell to the ground like a waterfall.

I'm biting my lips to keep me from sobbing. I hate this, when someone is pitying me and looking at me like that. I look at my front and can't see because of this stupid tears that keeps falling. I'm such a baby. My sight is blurred somehow it reminds me of that memory.

The memory I buried with myself in it.

-----------------------------

Angst already?

Well see what happens next time to her.
    
                                            -lislyn

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