university | lrh

29 - it's all lies

Elise Halder
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I'm certain there's one moment, one that sits in the back of everyone's head, of which is bound to happen in the future, that is absolutely dreaded. Sometimes you don't exactly know what yours is until it actually happens.

And as I scramble after Luke and Calum, both looking like they've got enough anger between the two of them to last a liftetime, I realize that this is mine.

"You don't even know where he is!"

I've never had much a problem with having short legs before, until I started spending my time with the record holder for longest legs in the world. He's only walking, briskly at that, but I feel like I'm stuck on a treadmill as I try to catch up to the two of them. The whole scene looks rather pathetic.

"I know exactly where he is."

Damn it, Calum.

I already knew that Cal knew where to find him, I was just hoping he wouldn't let Luke in on his insight.

I'm panicking, in every sense of the word, and I don't even have Cassie to calm me down, because the girl wouldn't dare run after anyone, willingly, so her and Michael fell back, walking at their own leisurely pace. I have Ashton, of course, but he's not being much help toward the situation, because the boy is equally rooting for both sides, offering moral support to me and the annoyingly tall boys in front of us.

I love Ashton, I do, but his overwhelming sense of kindness toward everyone is really not what I need right now.

"Luke, you can't do this." I whine, slightly out of breath but trying desperately to act like that's not the case.

He doesn't even look back, nor does he skip a beat. "I can. I have to, Lis."

"You don't-"

"Yeah, we do." Calum huffs.

I groan loudly in frustration. There's just too much testosterone simmering between the two, and my words are doing little to nothing to cut through it. But I can't let him do this, I can't let either of them do this.

I made a promise to myself, before I came here. I promised not to let him get to me, for one. And I know, I've broken that one already, probably too many times to count, but there's more to it than that. I told myself that I'd never retaliate, that I wouldn't let him win. Because that's what he wanted, all along, was my reaction.

It's the reason he ever approached me in the first place. It's the reason he befriended me, and it's the reason he betrayed me. I know he's craving for me to try and get back at him, or even just to tell him off. But I haven't, because I know what'll happen if I try. I know that he'll get in my head, even more so than before, and I'm terrified that I'll never be able to get him out.

I promised myself I'd never put myself in a position that gave him that same power over me, again.

And I have this sick feeling in my gut at the thought of him, and my voice loses all conviction and strength it had before when I choke out another plead. "I don't want to see him, please," I stop in my tracks as I breathe out, quieter than before. "Don't make me go through this again."

They both stop, immediately tensing, and I stand there, weak and small and pathetic, as Luke turns around sharply.

His eyes, that were first so burning and angry, soften, as he takes the few steps needed to close the space between us, and it's like he's finally looking at me, fully, since he stormed out of the dorm.