The Last Card

The Empress

"Why are you crying?"

I jolted in surprise. I hadn't expected the querent for another twenty minutes―that didn't say much about my skills for this profession.

"I'm not crying," I said hastily.

"Your makeup is all messed up."

I scowled. "You're early."

He shrugged. "I'm lucky that I had the time today. Unlike some people, I have a real job."

"I seem to make quite a lot from you―considering this isn't a real job," I shot back.

He held up his hands. "All right. What are those cards? Were you doing a reading? Did you see something sad?"

"No," I lied.

He picked up the cards. "Ace of Pentacles and Page of Pentacles. So obviously it means...no, I've got nothing. A big hand is going to emerge from the sky and someone will wear a weird hat?"

"For someone with a death vision, you can be pretty prosaic," I observed. "Do you want your reading or not?"

"Yes." He rubbed his hands together. "And let's not take forever―I have to meet Ashley at the movies."

I began shuffling the cards. "You know, I don't even have to be psychic to tell you that if you take your girlfriend to Big Momma's House, you are probably going to end up single."

"What makes you think we're seeing that movie?"

I giggled. "Aren't you?"

"Well, yeah―I was just wondering what trick you used to work out that one."

"After all these years, you are just easy to read. Also―don't take her to Big Momma's House."

He selected his card. "I saw Center Stage for her―she owes me."

"No wonder you are in desperate need of the cards for guidance." I giggled before flipping the past card. "Well then―why am I not surprised it's the reversed King of Pentacles."

He tilted his head in a childish attempt to see the card the normal way. "What does that mean? I never had an awesome throne."

"This is earthly pleasure," I explained. "And you've always struck me as someone who only had to snap his fingers to get what he wants―while the rest of us suffer."

"Forgive me for being lucky." He snorted. "Wait...was that a crack about making Ashley suffer by taking her to the best movie of the century?"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you see that it's reversed? That indicates those earthly pleasures have brought you no pleasure. The reversed King of Pentacles also shows that you've had anger issues. You've had no true purpose in life and have felt alone."

He shook his head. "That doesn't sound like me at all."

"Right..." I drawled. "You didn't feel so alone that you went to a tarot reader for help―even though you always pick fights with her."

"Nope." He leaned back. "Doesn't ring a bell."

"You've also been very stubborn."

He winked. "I think you are losing your touch."

I didn't know whether to throw something at him or laugh. I settled for drawing the next card.

"The..." I swallowed uncomfortably. "The Empress."

"Nice!" The querent peered at the card. "Ugly dress, but she's pretty cute."

I tried to push aside my unreasonable emotional reaction. "The waterfall in the card might indicate it's time to clean your soul. It's connected with the number three which shows creativity and growth. It's another sign that you're ready to embrace a new future and let go of your past issues."