Filthy Little Secret - Draco x reader

30 - You saw right through me

I walk down the hallway and it feels cold, even though it's September. I take deep breaths, but I don't feel good. I don't really know what I feel. I'm sad and I'm cold and I feel like doing something, but I also feel like curling up into a ball and cry. I feel weird.

"Blimey rascals. Who destroys library books? I bet it was Malfoy again", I hear and walk around the corner. Hagrid is standing in the middle of the corridor, carrying a stack of books that look rather battered.

"Excuse me?" I say, rolling my eyes. Believe me, I love Hagrid, I think he's a great man, but he sometimes has a very narrow view of certain things. He never got along with Draco's dad, so he immediately expects Draco to be the same. I mean, many people think that, but it's so obvious with Hagrid.

"Oh, didn't see ya there Y/N. Someone ruined library books. I'm pretty sure it was one of the Slytherins, Draco Malfoy probably."

"And why do you think that?"

"Well, that kid's always up to no good, right? Let me tell ya, the whole family is rotten." I feel my blood starting to boil and I press my nails into the palm of my hand. Draco destroying library books, are you kidding me? I don't know any guy that is not a Ravenclaw that spends as much time in the library as Draco does. He always gets good marks, he always hands in assignments in time (well, last year was an exception). Draco would never do that.

"Then I think you should widen your vision a bit", I say aggressive and Hagrid looks up confused.

"What d'ya mean?" he asks.

"Draco would never do something like that. He's actually very kind and caring if you get to know him. He's an exemplary student. His family might not be the best example of what a family should be, but it's very short-sighted to just write him off as the bad kid and blame him for all the mischief if you have never even tried to get to know him", I say and I get angrier with every word.

"Oh I'm sorry Y/N, didn't mean to offend ya", he says and looks around uncomfortably.

"I... I should get going, lot's of work to do, ya know?" he says and quickly leaves the hallway.

I sigh. Why am I worked up so fast when it's about Draco. He is kind of a bad kid, but also not. No he's not. He's a lovely human being and I'm just as stupid as all the other people for blaming him for what he has become. Draco is not a bad person, not at all. His surroundings just make it seem like he is. I can't even imagine how hard that is, knowing that you have to be someone that you're not. He's had such a rough last year, trying to meet impossible expectations. Trying to be who his father wants him to be and ultimately having to represent him while he's in prison. And here I am doubting him, telling him that I don't want his protection and that I need time. He once said to me that I am the only person who really understands him. The only one to see through his exterior. I guess I kind of forgot to do that for a while. Yet, where do I draw the line to how bad an exterior can be? With Draco, I don't think there is a line at all. I always believed that he was a good person and I know that he needed me to believe that. 

I now understood it. The pain I saw in his eyes. That pain that was difficult to place. I acted towards him as if he was a bad person. The one person who he trusted his real self to started seeing him in the same way everyone else did. When did I convince myself of that? 

Him being forced to be a Death Eater doesn't make him a bad person. Me caring for him doesn't make me a bad person. I don't have to go to the dark side because I love him. Why am I acting like I have to? Like I'm becoming a bad person? I'll always be Y/N Y/L/N the geeky Ravenclaw and he'll always be Draco Malfoy and that's it. There's no good or bad.

I sigh. What am I doing? I should support him, not push him away. He doesn't have anyone else at school. At least no one who understands him. He doesn't care about Pansy or Crabbe or Goyle. He cares about me and I acted like a jerk, just like everyone else. I act like I don't need him, whereas I know damn well that that's a fat lie. I know he is the one, then why am I pushing him away as if that would be for my own good?

I turn around to see if he's still in that corridor by any chance, but when I do so, he's standing right in front of me. A slight smile is lurking around his lips and I frown confused.

"Very kind and caring, huh?" he says and I sigh in relief. I quickly pull him into a hug and burry my head in the crook of his neck.

"I love you, okay? Never forget that", I say and he tightens the hug.

"I love you too, very much", he says.

I pull back, cup his chin and place my lips on his. He kisses back with passion and wraps his arms around my waist. I missed this. I missed him. This feels good. Draco is good. I just have to make sure I don't lose myself. I am still Y/N Y/L/N and I will never, ever go to the dark side. Not even for Draco. And I know he understands that. Maybe, just maybe he will even find a way to not be on that side either. 

You shouldn't eavesdrop like that, you jerk", I say and playfully hit his chest.

"Then you shouldn't leave me like that, dork", he says with a smirk. I smile. This kid makes me happy.

"Dork? You haven't called me nerd in a while", I say whilst fiddling with his tie.

"That is, because I have figured something out", he sighs and pulls me towards him by my robes.

"And what's that mister Malfoy?" I ask. The smirk turns into a smile and his eyes turn serious, yet loving.

"You're not a Ravenclaw because you're book smart", he says and I raise an eyebrow. "Well, that too, obviously. But I believe you're in Ravenclaw because you're a different kind of smart as well. You have a beautiful mind that wouldn't fit in any other house. You see things that others don't see. You think effectively before you do something. You saw me. Well, you saw right through me." 

I look at him and have to try my hardest to not tear up. That's honestly the most beautiful thing someone has ever said to me. From this moment I know that he's genuinely a good person, and I love him more than anything in the world. So before a tear can escape my eyes I pull him in and kiss him.