Regret

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     She had came home from that exhausting evening and all she felt in her heart was regret. When she arrived home she hid her red face from her mother and her brother and ignored any questions they threw at her.

     "How come you came home so late, [Y/N]? Was it school related?" her mother asked her. She didn't reply and continued to walk towards her room. She got to her room and shut the door quietly, so that there wouldn't be any suspicions from her family. Finally in the darkness of her bedroom, she uncovered her face. She went over to her mirror and stared at the dark pits of her eyes.

      For once in her life she looked unstable. Snot was coming out of her nose and the areas around her eyes were red and puffy. The sight of this disgusting child in front of her was unbearable. From what was regret before, anger replaced it. Now that emotions were unleashed, she couldn't seem to contain them.

     Before she could stop herself, she slammed her pale hand onto the glass of the mirror. The mirror broke with a crack and bit of shards cut her hand and flew at her. When that was over, she was breathing heavily and squeezing her eyes shut. Her hands were stinging and bleeding, but she did not care.

     She flinched when the muffled call of her mother's rang through the house. "[Y/N]!? What happened? What was that sound from your room?"

    She did not respond, but continued to stand where she was. Until a knock was at her door. She opened her eyes slowly and quickly shifted her face to look the usual, neutral, but cold. She walked to her door and hid her bloody hand behind her before opening the door. There, in front of her was her younger brother, looking around anxiously.

     "Hey....[Y/N]. Mom heard something from your room and told me to go check it. Is everything okay?" he asked her in a small voice. And why doesn't her mother go check it out? Why send her brother here like her coward? [Y/N] never liked her family, but she knew she hated her mother worse than her brother.

     In a cold tone, she replied, "Get out of here. It's nothing."

     Her brother bit his lip and looked like he wanted to say more, but he gave up and did what she told him to do.

    She closed the door once again and then took out her bloody hand. She inspected every cut it had received and shook her head at it. She shouldn't have gotten angry. She had already cried today, becoming angry wasn't going to make anything better. Instead, from now on, she had to be emotionless. But wasn't that what she had try to do before? And yet she failed. She failed from getting hurt.

     She was so weak. She cried just because of some damn gossip from other people at school. What was wrong with her? Her shell was not suppose to break. It was suppose to stay like that forever. There was suppose to be a wall between her and the world forever.

     How was she going to face Hitoshi tomorrow? How was she supposed to see him when she knows that he knows that she does have emotions? That he knows that she can be vulnerable?

     She sighed and decided to just go to bed. It didn't matter that she had homework. It didn't matter that her stomach was grumbling. She just didn't want to think anymore.

     She climbed onto her bed and saw that her hand was dripping blood onto her bed. She didn't care and left it like that. Her hand might be infected tomorrow when she wakes up. But all that mattered to her right now was to go back to oblivion.

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