sean and kaycee - one shots

not today.

if you're reading this, skip to some of my later oneshots as these are nowhere as near as good as the ones i've produced lately, but if you want to start from the beginning and see my growth over the next few months go right ahead <3

- kami [ october 14, 2019 ]

*** i recommend staring at "it was cold outside" ✨☁️

i'm so tired. not physically, not from the late night classes the night prior, i'm emotionally tired. i'm tired of waking up everyday and knowing i have to face another day of this life.
i'm tired of living.

i don't enjoy the things i used to like cooking, singing, even dancing. all i want to do is be by myself. i don't want to go out with friends, i don't want to eat dinner with my family, i don't even want to teach my choreography's that i spent all my time and effort into. every night i poured my heart and soul into my dances, spending hours perfecting my technique, coming up with new moves to incorporate. maybe i'm just drained. maybe i just spent too much of my energy on dancing to the point i totally wore myself out.
maybe.

i don't want to feel like this anymore. i don't want to distance myself from my family and my friends anymore. i don't want to hurt her anymore. she's done so much for me and all i've done was push her away. she's been there for me for every mental break down, every screaming tantrum, everything. she was my best friend. the only things that made me happy, geez, every time she smiled, my day would get ten times better. she was the light in my life, and i pushed her away. i yelled at her and took out all my anger on her when it was never her fault. it was till one day i looked up from my computer and saw how tired she looked, dark bags hugged her eyes and lines that were never there before lined her face. she was emotionless. kaycee rice, the girl with the biggest smile in the room was gone. i've broken her.

i was so caught up in my own damn head that i didn't realize how much this girl meant to me, until she was gone. the smile she wore everyday on her face was worn down and her eyes that used to brighten my whole world, were now dull and tired. I did that to her, i did that to that beautiful and amazing girl.

i never deserved her. she used all her light to try and get me out of my darkness, to where she had no more light for herself. and i will never forgive myself for taking that away from her.

one day, i will go back and fix things. i will get out of my bed and walk over to her house and apologize for all the things i've done to her, because i cannot live with her. i can't live without kaycee rice. i will makeup for all the things i've done to her. take back all the words i've yelled to her as she stood there, taking it all in. she never once yelled back. i would hold her and never let her go. i would sit there and listen to her problems that she couldn't talk to me about because she was to busy dealing with mine. i will tell her that i love her and i'm a better person when she's around, but not today.

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hey! so this was inspired by their dance to Not Today by Alessia Cara. I hope you enjoyed because this was definitely one of my favorites to write. obviously, i don't think sean would ever push kaycee away, but it kinda is based off of how much they need each other. thanks for reading and don't forget to vote and comment! i would love to hear what you guys think and let me know any suggestions you have ✨