Good Boy, Bad Boy

23: The whole truth

"God, I hate when we have so much to study. I really don't get how it's possible for the teachers to give us tests all in one week. It's hell." Trevor whines as he aggressively shoves all his books inside his backpack.

We decided today was 'studying day' and we've been at it since 10 am. Now it's 7 pm. And we haven't finished with everything, but it's okay since we still have 4 more days until next week. I think I'm doing better than Trevor but I still don't feel secure in my knowledge. I won't ever be totally sure even if I know that I know everything. I blame overthinking.

"We still have time. I think it's enough for today though." I let out a breath as I lay down on my bed.

"Hey Trevor," I go over to his bed, "this is sudden, but I have a question."  It's been on my mind to ask him this for a couple of days now.

"When did you start liking me?" I really needed courage to ask him and I don't know why but it was easier than I thought it'd be.

He smiles to himself. "Well the moment you walked in the room I thought you were cute but I guess I started crushing on you the second day."

"Damn, you didn't need much huh?"

"Nope. You are a very peculiar boy and you sparked my interest. You were...different." Could he be any more corny?

"And...I have something else to ask." I pull my lips inside my mouth. He nods for me to go on. "Did, uh...did Elliot like me too?" I'm probably burning red now.

"Well, when I told him about you he thought you were, in his words, 'very handsome in that dark, emo kind of way'. But you know he doesn't like relationships so..." He leaves the sentence unfinished but I understand what he means. He just wanted a one time thing with me and that'd be all.

"He just wanted my body." I say. I feel very bad when I say that out loud. It's weird that someone might want that from me. Not that it's bad, just weird. I don't see what others see and that's probably why I can't understand why he'd want me like that.

"He's my best friend and I love him but yeah. It's just the way he is. You're not sad or anything right?" He gives me a questioning look.

"What?! No! I'm with you now. I like you." He pulls me to him and side hugs me just for a second before letting go.

"Don't worry about Elliot now. We talked about it and he very willingly and quite happily told me that I can pursue you." Pursue. Me. Agh! On the inside I'm jumping in joy by now. Hearing someone wants to pursue me makes me turn into mush.

"You two are really close aren't you? Since you can so easily fix things like this."

"Yeah. We are. We've been best bros since kindergarten. From then on where he goes I go and vice versa." I wish I had a friendship like that.

"That's nice. The friends I had only lasted for a few months or weeks...days, some not even a day." I unexpectedly open up.

He looks at me with sympathy. "Don't worry about the past Ash. It's useless. You have me and Elliot now. I'm your boyfriend but before that remember I'm your friend too. You're not alone." He takes my hand in both of his and squeezes it. I'm glad I have you Trevor. You and Elliot too.

"Thanks. For being here." I lean over and kiss his cheek.

"I'll always be."