chapter five

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C H A P T E R F I V E
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I didn't bother going back to work, and instead picked up my phone and dialled Kate's number.

"You have to help me," Kate said the minute she picked up the phone. "My mother is officially insane."

"You've been saying that for years," I chided.

I could hear her sigh on the other end. "Yeah, I know, but I mean for real this time."

"I finished work early," I told her. "Want a get out card?"

I imagined her resisting a cry of joy at what I said, pushing herself farther into a corner of the room. She took a moment to answer, but when she did, she seemed about ready to combust, "Please, please, please."

"Make an excuse and meet me at the train station."

"What's that Am?" She asked, theatrically. "A car accident? Are you alright? No, no, it's fine. I'm sure my mother won't mind, she is incredibly selfless, you're right—"

I chuckled to myself as I put down the phone.

♖ ♖ ♖

About an hour later and I'd grabbed us both a cheese and onion pasty from a nearby vendor, and was sat, waiting in my car. It wasn't long after before the supermodel herself began prancing toward me.

"You have no idea how grateful I am," she said as she threw herself into the car. "I owe you one."

I handed her a pasty. "You already owe me one," I told her.

"That may be true," she said, gazing a little too adoringly at her pasty. I knocked her arm with mine. She tore her gaze from the 'carby goodness' in her hands and took in my pointed look. "Okay, fine. I owe you two things."

I sat back in my seat, satisfied.

"That's more like it."

We sat in moderate silence for a few minutes as she crammed as much of my gift to her into her mouth, pausing only to take a swig of my water. I couldn't be arsed telling her to slow down— a trip to her mother's, whether for a few hours or weeks, was never easy.

"So how was it?"

Kate scrunched up the tissue in her hand."You mean the spawn of Satan?" She asked, wiping some crumbs off her mouth in the mirror. "Yeah, she was peachy."

"That bad?"

She groaned, head in her hands. "I can't even tell you. All she did for the whole time was ask me when I'm going to settle down, get married or get this: get a 'proper' job. I know she's my mother and everything but my god, she's a cunt sometimes."

"Jesus, Kate," I said, not sure whether to laugh or be incredulous, not knowing whether to reprimand her or console her.

"I can only put up with her for so long," she said, tugging at her neatly tied hair, making strays fall out around her face. She took it out completely and let it fall about her shoulders.

"Why don't we do something to cheer you up a bit," I said. "Maybe find something to watch, get some food and have a night in."

She shook her head. "I think what I've been through today warrants something a little more."

"Oh?" I said. "And what would that be?"

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