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❝it sucks, doesn't it? feeling like you're not good enough. ❞
WHEN I woke up, Dallas was gone. Ponyboy was asleep on the couch next to me, and Sodapop was sitting next to Ponyboy. Darry was in his reading chair. I slowly sat up, doing my best not to cause myself anymore pain.
Soda noticed that I was awake first. "Hey, princess." he calmly said, stroking a few loose baby hairs out of my face. I looked at him and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. "How ya feeling?" he whispered, and I just gave him a thumbs down.
As soon as he realized that I was awake, Darry got out of his reading chair and made his way over to me. My oldest brother smiled warmly at me, softly ruffling my messy red hair. He made his way into the kitchen, calling out, "What do you want for dinner?"
Boy, did that make my head spin. Sodapop must've noticed, because he quickly tended to me and told Darry to shut up. Ponyboy was twirling my fiery hair lightly, making me feel just the slightest bit better. "I'll just have some soup." I mumbled, "and an aspirin, while I'm at it."
Soda gently got up from the couch and made his way to the kitchen, "She wants soup, Dar." I could faintly hear him whisper, and shortly after my second oldest brother came back into the living room, an aspirin and a glass of water in his hands.
He carefully sat down next to me, and had Ponyboy support my head as he gave me the aspirin. I slowly took it and Sodapop placed the cold rim of the glass up to my lips, helping me slowly take the medicine that I needed so badly. "Thanks, Soda." I muttered, and he kissed the top of my head.
We sat there in silence for awhile, and the only occasional noises were from the kitchen, where Darry was preparing my soup. I let my head rest in the crook of Pony's neck, and Soda gently draped one of his arms around me. I let my body relax a bit, just happy to be in the loving and protective presence of my brothers. Sure, we fight. But in the end, we're family, which means that we'll always have each other's backs, no matter the circumstances. We'll love each other forever and always, no matter how bad the situation is or how much we claim to hate each other sometimes. Unconditional love exists in this family, and it has existed ever since the start.
Before she died, Mom used to tell me about how bad the first few nights in the hospital were with me. Pony was born happy and healthy, just like my parents and older brothers had hoped for. They were expecting another healthy little one, but when I entered the world, I was sick. Apparently I was born with a hole in my heart, and I was rushed into surgery to fix it. I still have the scar on my chest today, even if it's just a little tiny one.
Soon enough, Darry came in with my soup. He gently placed it down next to me, and even though I did the best I could, I was too weak to hold the bowl and spoon. Darry looked at me in concern and Ponyboy grabbed the bowl and spoon and began to help me eat. I felt stupid having to be fed by my brother, but I couldn't do anything about it.
When I was done, Soda took everything back and placed it into the sink. He came back in shortly and sat right back down next to me. There wasn't much going on at home, and I couldn't go out, so we would have to find a way to pass the time. I sprawled out onto the couch; my head was on Ponyboy's lap and my legs rested on Sodapop's lap. Darry was sitting right there in front of us.
Suddenly, Soda's eyes lit up, and he looked at Darry, "Why don't we tell these idiots the stories of how they were named?" he questioned, smiling cheekily. Darry laughed, which made both Pony and I smile softly.
"Alright, kid brother. Who should I start with?"
"Ponyboy. Then we'll do Logan."
Darry nodded, "Ponyboy, Dad came up with your name. Well, your first name, at least. I can clearly remember him saying 'That kid, Ponyboy fits him well. That's his name.' which worried Mom. She thought that if he picked out your middle name, he'd chose something like 'horseman' and mom made a deal with him. So Dad came up with your first name, and Mom chose your middle. That's how you got to be Ponyboy Michael Curtis." Darry explained, and I laughed softly.
"Can you believe that, horseman?" I laughed, looking up at Pony. He pretended to be hurt about it, but ended up just laughing it off.
"How'd Logie-Bear get her name, Dar?" my twin asked, stroking my hair softly. I looked at him curiously; how did my parents come up with a name like Logan Faye Curtis?
Darry and Sodapop both smiled softly, "Ah, Logan. Mom and Dad let me and Sodapop choose your name." he smiled, continuing shortly after, "As you know, you were very sick when you were born. You were in surgery for 12 hours, and that scared all of us half to death. Since Mom and Dad had named three children before, they gave us the honor of naming you, our baby sister. Sodapop thought Logan fit you. I didn't disagree, you did look like a Logan. Anyway, I chose your middle name, kiddo. Faye... Faye means trust, and in that difficult time all we did was trust. We trusted in God. We trusted in the doctors. We trusted in each other. And most importantly, Logan, we trusted in you. We trusted that you would never give up, because if you did, you'd leave three little boys desperately wishing for a little sister. We trusted that you would pull through, and you did. That's how you got your name." Darry finished, smiling. He leaned forward and pressed a sweet kiss to my nose, and Soda pressed one to my cheek. When I looked up at Ponyboy, he had tears in his greenish-gray eyes.
"I could have lost you." he kept repeating, over and over again. I leaned further into him, wanting to make sure that he didn't feel alone. Darry and Sodapop both looked at us softly.
"But you didn't. I'm here, and always will be. I love you guys, thanks for being the best big brothers any girl could ever ask for." I finished, and all of them gently pulled me in for a group hug.
I'm glad that they see the good in me. I'm always glad and grateful that they see all the bad in me, yet choose to love me anyway. That's the definition of true family.
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hello so ik that there are many different meanings of the name faye but trust was one of them that i thought would go well with this chapter. it's a piece of shit, but enjoy in anyway ♡
a/n: you matter. please stay. i love you. remember there is a light at the end tunnel. if it's not okay, it's not the end. the national suicide prevention lifeline is 1800-273-8255.
