I See You [REWRITING]

chapter 8: natural order

The weekend comes and goes so quickly, that by the time Monday morning hits I'm left feeling like I've aged a million years. My mind is still swarming from the party Saturday night and my conversation with Felix. Butterflies still fluttering around my stomach, making me wonder if maybe I like him more than I want to.

I am overthinking everything and when my parents got brought up, I made a fool of myself and probably ruined any chance I could possibly have with him. Not that I want one.

I don't.

I didn't.

God, maybe I do. I want to know what it's like to see the kind of smile he'd only give me, or share things he'll only ever tell me. A relationship with him seems like a myth, but it can't happen.

It's not possible.

He's Felix Montgomery and I'm insignificant.

I have to be if I want to keep these curious feelings from running wild in my chest, while at the same time I can't help but pause to think about the way he looked at me on the roof. The way the words fell so effortlessly from his mouth. And the way he said it with so much heart, like maybe he meant the words he said.

But that isn't possible, not if I want to keep my heart protected from more hurting. My parents sudden divorce leaving me ill and I still haven't talked to my dad. I want him to have to sit and think about what he did. Why I'm as mad as I am. Why what he said hurt.

Why him breaking his promise to me was wrong, and it is wrong. It's the worst thing he has ever done to me and I have a right to be upset with him over it. A right to yell at him. A right to want to wait to see him, or talk to him. A right to cool off.

Thankfully, the long day is nearly done and lunch arrives in the nick of time. My morning classes were straining, more so than usual and I need the hour off to catch my breath. The room my last class is in before lunch happens to be right across from my locker, allowing me to grab my stuff and make my way to the courtyard where I find my usual seat at one of the stone picnic tables.

Picking my phone out of my pocket, I unlock it to mindlessly look through my social medias while waiting for Isla, Robyn and Miles. I pick my paper bag lunch out of my backpack with my metal water bottle, setting it down in front of me as I scrolled over my newsfeed. A small smile creeping up on my lips at the comments of support on my newest post, running my thumb towards the heart I hit it just as someone sits down at the table in front of me.

When I lift my head, I expect to find Isla or Robyn like usual but instead find a mop of brunette hair. My stomach curling up when I meet his dark eyes and the stupid smirk I haven't stopped thinking about since I ran into him on Friday.

"Felix," I say as I reach for the lock button on the side of my phone, turning the screen black.

"Hey," he grins, making my heart skip as he leans forward resting his hands together. "How are you?"

"Fine," I say, pulling my hand away from my mouth to rub my thumb over the ring on my index finger. "What do you want?"

"I can't just come say hi?" He asks and I have to bit my tongue to keep from giggling. From the giddiness taking place in my chest and the utter ridiculousness of the question.

"Okay, well, you said hi," I tell him, trying my hardest to keep my cool as I unscrew the lid off my bottle. "Anything else?" I ask before taking a sip of water, holding the water in my mouth as I set the bottle back down on the stone table top.

"Go out with me," he says, unfazed and before I can stop myself the water in my mouth sprays out in surprise and I immediately bring my hand up to my mouth, my eyes wide in horror when I see his face dripping wet.