A Little Help from a Snake // Tomarry

1: The Letter*

Reposted: July 5, 2021

Revised: October 17, 2021 (just the first few paragraphs)

Something I've started doing is naming my chapters -mostly for fun but also a good way to remember which chapter is which. If you have any suggestions for later chapters, let me know. Some examples I've used include: "There's a Snake in the Chamber!", "The Lion, The Witch, The Audacity of This Bitch," and "Part 61".

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Summary: Zoo snakes are entertaining; Harry's letter finally arrives

If there was one day Harry couldn't care less about, it was the twenty-third of June, Dudley's birthday. Now Harry was no expert on birthdays — he couldn't remember ever receiving a present from his aunt or uncle — but he had a feeling twenty was pushing it unless you've made friends with the whole school.

"Thirty-six," Dudley said from where he was counting his presents. "That's two less than last year."

"Darling, you haven't counted Auntie Marge's present, see, it's here under this big one from Mummy and Daddy."

"All right, thirty-seven then," Dudley said, in no way appeased. Harry slid his chair back ever so slightly just in case he went on one of his tantrums.

Luckily, Aunt Petunia sensed it, too. "And we'll buy you another two presents while we're out today. How's that, popkin. Two more presents? Is that all right?"

"So I'll have thirty... thirty..."

"Thirty-nine," Harry piped up brightly. "One more than last year."

"Shut up, Harry," Dudley snapped. He turned to his father, his voice taking on a whiny edge. "Does he have to come with us?"

Uncle Vernon gave Harry a pleading look.

"Course I don't have to," said Harry. He paused, watching Uncle Vernon's face brighten hopefully. "But I am."

Uncle Vernon's expression dropped again. "He's coming," he muttered.

Every year, Dudley and his friend, Piers, were taken out for the day, leaving Harry with Arabella Figg, an old lady who lived two streets away. This year, his relatives were taking them to the zoo along with Harry, as per his request. Harry inwardly smiled; this was going to be great. He gave Dudley a sidelong glance. Well, maybe.

It started out okay, though Dudley's tantrum in the restaurant irritated Harry to no ends. Their next stop was the reptile house. Dudley found the largest snake and pressed his nose against the glass. "Make it move," he whined.

Harry rolled his eyes as Uncle Vernon tapped on the glass. As if that would make it move!

Dudley quickly gave up and moved away. Harry stayed where he was, still looking at the snake. 'Humans,' he hissed softly. 'We're a pretty idiotic species, aren't we?'

The snake opened its eyes, looking amused. 'For the most part. You seem pretty intelligent.'

'I suppose so. Where do you come from, anyway?'

The snake jabbed its tail at a sign.

Boa Constrictor, Brazil.

'I see. It's too bad you've never been,' Harry said, reading on.

"DUDLEY! MR. DURSLEY!" Piers suddenly shouted. "COME AND LOOK AT THIS SNAKE! YOU WON'T BELIEVE WHAT IT'S DOING!"

Dudley came running back over and punched Harry in the ribs. "Out of the way, you."