Empire of Ashes

Chapter XC - For Our Sins

We've just reached 100,000 reads, so you get this nice, long chapter as a thank you. You're all really awesome and I love every single one of you. And welcome to the newcomers! The speed at which you guys can read 90 chapters is actually frightening at times.

The moon was rising in the sky, and I was curled up on the ground with Tem's cloak wrapped around myself. At first, it was difficult to sleep while my side was throbbing. I learned to ignore it within an hour or so, and then it was only the constant, insatiable thread of my thoughts which kept me from rest. I was still lying awake when Anlai woke Fendur for his watch.

"All quiet," Anlai murmured.

Footsteps crunching on the scree, and then they stopped abruptly, as if the Iyrak had caught hold of his arm.

"I'm worried about Lyra," Fendur said quietly. "Something's not right. Something beyond Tem and the king and all of this."

I felt their eyes on me, and I tried to make my breathing as slow and even as I could.

Anlai gave a non-committal grunt. "Maybe she's pregnant, too. Gods only know how long those two were sharing a bed."

He thought this was a hormonal tantrum? Well, at least he was pretty, I supposed, because he must have rocks for brains.

"Maybe," Fendur murmured, but he didn't sound convinced. "What did she say to Saqui?"

"She said Mikal drank the wine, whatever the hell that means."

"Gods... You don't think...?" the Iyrak whispered.

I felt hot tears welling in my eyes, threatening to spill over. To hear another person say it ... imply it, even ... it made what I had done suddenly feel a hundred times more real.

"I don't know what to think," Anlai said shortly.

There was a heavy silence. I bit down hard on my lip to keep the tears from falling. There were a few more words, too quiet for me to hear, and then Fendur went out to the ridge. I could hear the scree clattering beneath his boots. Anlai must have come back to camp, and a shadow fell over my face as he crouched beside me. My spine arched involuntarily, the hairs on the back of my neck standing on end.

"I know you're awake," he told me in an undertone. "I know you heard that."

I kept my eyes firmly closed, and he dug his fingers into my side hard enough to make me gasp.

"On your feet," he snapped. "Now. You and I need to talk."

I opened my eyes to glower at him, but I didn't move a muscle, so he had to pull me onto my feet. We walked towards the forest. His hand was squeezing my arm, dragging me onwards against my better judgement. I didn't want to talk to him. I was quite sure about that.

We reached the edge of the trees and stopped there because it was as good a place to any to have a conversation. We sat with our backs to trees. The camp was out of earshot, and Fendur would have seen only shadows had he glanced backwards. As soon as I was settled, my mouth set into a scowl, he asked, "Well? Are you pregnant?"

"I wouldn't know, Anlai," I said snidely. "One day is a little too early to tell."

His eyebrows shot upwards. "Really? You two never...?"

"No."

"Huh," he muttered, shaking his head in astonishment. "Tem really was head over heels for you, wasn't he?"

"And how did you reach that conclusion from the fact that we weren't sleeping together?"

"Isn't it obvious? He didn't want to tumble you while he was lying to you. Love, not lust." Anlai went quiet for a moment. "He didn't try to hide it. You, though, I never could tell - did you love him?"