Date Your Therapist

4 sad :(

The reader hates rain like I do suck it yall 😤😫💦

"Dont be raincist" - my lovely editor 🖤

Also I couldnt wait another day or two to post this kskdjskdjd you guys locked out I'm so nice 😫😫

Tw: past depression mention, past suicidalness mention, toxic ways of dealing with self worth, just be careful reading this y'all

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“Hey, Picani.”

Well, that was definitely not normal.  Normally, (y/n) would find some way to make their entrances special.  Whether it be bursting into the room with a dead sprint, blasting a Tik Tok as they did, or even just saying something funny.

Today, (y/n) simply seemed to shamble into the room, falling into the couch with an unintentional sad sigh.  Emile raised an eyebrow, writing a note in his notebook. They sat in relative silence for a moment before (y/n) let out a loud, much more dramatic sigh.

“Sorry dude, shit’s been happening.  Plus, it's raining. I hate rain.” (Y/n) grumbled, cracking their back.  Emile nodded thoughtfully, setting his pen down.

“Do ya wanna talk it out?” He asked gently.

“Yeah, sure.  I mean, I just… sorry.” They shifted uncomfortably on the couch.

“Take your time, you know you can–”

“It's just–” They interrupted, immediately feeling bad for doing so.

“Fuck, sorry!  You can–”

“No, no!  It’s okay, you start.”

(Y/n) took a steadying breath. “I'm just kinda, uh… uncomfortable,” they admitted, “The way we're sitting feels like… I dunno, a confrontation or something.  I know you're chill and all that but like… ugh, feelings suck. Do you mind like, moving over here?” They asked awkwardly, scooching to one side of the couch and patting the other.  Emile smiled kindly, taking light steps over to the couch and sitting where they had motioned.

“I can't remember the last time I sat on this side of the desk.” Emile cracked a joke to ease the tension, catching the small smile on (y/n)'s face.  They let out another dramatic sigh, slinging their legs into his lap and laying back.

“Right, so I've told you about how I went to therapy once in middle school, right?  I never really went into much detail. Basically I was obsessed with society's view on appearance, I got depressed and-slash-or suicidal, my friends told the guidance counselor, went to therapy, realized it was dumb, learned to love myself and not care about society's dumb appearance rules and judging your self worth on romantic relationships and all that good shit.”

(Y/n) explained all of this in just a few breaths, so they took a second to recuperate.  Emile’s eyes widened at their mention of depression, but nodded along.

“Right, so then in high school I was all like… ‘hell yeah, I'm the best, I'm gorgeous!  If you don't think so, then guess who's wrong’ because I basically adopted the mentality that's like… I don't truly believe these things I say about myself.  I hate myself.  But, if I continue to compliment myself constantly, eventually I will start to believe it.  Y’know, the whole ‘fake it til you make it’ thing?  That was me. And I totally did believe it.  Legit, I became like, so mentally healthy."

Emile caught how their tone faltered.  “I did have a few problems with my self worth, though.  Like, I'd put a lot of my self worth in the things I'd create.  I was one of those fanfiction kids, I wrote fanfiction, dude. But I just had this unhealthy habit of doing this with like all my hobbies and talents and grades.  Like, probably every time I got a low grade I could feel my self-love just going ‘oof’, you know? And like, I'm two hundred percent aware that this shit's unhealthy.  Trust me dude I've been trying for the past like, fifteen-ish years. And I'm better! But just… ugh…”