Anxiety • part 1

38 • secret

"I'm exhausted" I said as I let my body fall on his couch. He sat down beside me and looked at me with an admiring smile. "What are you looking at?" I asked with a laugh before covering my face with a pilow so I couldn't see him anymore.

"You." He said smoothly and I just laughed even harder. "You got through the festival, without having a visible worry once."

"I haven't had a panic attack in 3 weeks." I said proudly before he pulled away the pillow. "This weekend was just amazing and I didn't even think about my anxiety once untill you mentioned it now."

"Don't try to hid your pretty face away from me." He said as he watched me again. "I know it's only 1pm but if you want to go sleep, you can."

"If I do that now I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight. So I just got to stay awake for atleast 8 more hours."

"I was thinking about doing a livestream and sing some covers today. Just like the old days." He said and he was hinting something but I was too tired to figure out what. So I just stared back at him untill he finally went straight to the point. "Do you want to do it with me? Just sign one or two covers together."

"I think the fans would love it more if it was just you." I replied softly, but to be honest I was just a little scared of doing it.

"But I would love it if you did it with me." He replied with a small smile. "Your single hit the number one in US and UK iTunes charts 2 weeks after releasing and stayed there for a week, it's still being played on the radio 7 weeks later and still you're so insecure about your voice. You are so freaking talented Sam, stop trying to hide that away." He said and he was right.

"Fine, but after that we're finishing your song because you have to start recording tomorrow." I said after a few seconds, looking at him with a small smile. "What song did you want to play? Because I'm not doing this unprepared."

"Dreams by Fleetwood Mac." He replied bringing an instant smile on my face.

"Yes. I love that song." I said

"I know" he said with a smile as he got up and took his guitar "or how about that song we played on your birthday?"

"How to save a life by The Fray." I said remembering it instantly. That was an amazing night. "Or Chasing Cars, snow patrol."

"Chasing cars is good." He replied. I got up too and sat down behind the piano and he sat next to me, trying not to sit in my way with his guitar. "I don't know the chords to it." He said honestly, I took my phone from my pocket and searched the chords for it.

We went over the song once which didn't go very smoothly. We ended up laughing more then singing but it was fun. It was peacefull with no pressure of finishing a song or writing. Just the two of us and a song to cover.

The Fleetwood Mac cover on the other hand went flawless from the first time.

"Are you ready?" He asked as he took out his phone and went to the instagram app.

"Yeah, If you don't mess up all the chords." I replied with a grin as I took my phone to to join his just started live stream. He put his phone against the mug still standing on the piano and played a random song on his guitar while I figured out how to join the livestream. We should have figured that out earlier. When I saw the notification of my request come on his phone I reached over to accept it and he just looked at me amused.

"Sam is pretty new to the instagram live thing." He said with a laugh. "Hello, everyone."

"Hi" I said with a smile as I waved at the camera.

"Hello again." He said with a big smile as he leaned on his guitar. "How are you all doing? Wait I can't see what you guys are saying." He said before reaching over to his phone to let us see the comments, knocking his phone over in the proces. "Shit." He said as we both laughed at his clumsiness. "Okay that's better." He put his phone straight again and this time we did see the comments. "Sam and I are finishing up the very last song for 5SOS 4 before the guys and I continue recording for the album tomorrow. We are very excited to bring you new music soon and see all your faces again."