Chapter 21 - Life and Death

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We were cuffed and shoved into the back of a van by HYDRA. Nat was bleeding badly from where she had been shot and Cap was looking depressed. I still could not believe that I was alive. I was sure that I was going to die when the knife hit my chest. I need to know why I am still here, and not in a body bag. Maybe I have more enhancements than healing, speed and strength. 

"It was him. He looked right at me." I looked up at Cap, knowing he was on about the assassin. He called him Bucky. His bestfriend that he thought died. "He didn't even know me."

"How's that even possible, it was like seventy years ago."  Sam commented.

"Zola. Bucky's whole unit was captured in 43 Zola experimented on him. Whatever he did must've helped Bucky survive the fall. He must of found him and..." I looked down sadly. Cap must be feeling terrible. 

"None of it's your fault Cap."

"Even when I had nothing I had Bucky."

Winter Soldier, don't kill, friend. I can't those words out of my head. Void knew that it was Bucky, and he told me not to kill him when he knew if I had the chance, I would. He knows more about how I'm alive, he was after all there. I just need a way to connect to him.

"We need to get a doctor here, we don't put pressure on that wound, she's going to bleed out here in the truck-" Sam was cut off by the zap of electricity from one of the guards weapons. It reminded me of the ones Argent uses on werewolves. We all tensed a little but to our surprise the guard attacked the other guard. They took off their helmet revealing that it was in fact Agent Hill.

"That thing was squeezing my brain." I laugh subtly as she sighs in relief. "Whos this guy?" 

"I'm Sam Wilson. Got an idea on how to get us out?"

 She nodded and revealed a piece of equipment that I think I saw on Fury once. She burned out a whole in the bottom of the van and we all jumped out. She led us to a different van and drove us to a 'secure location' as she called it.  

"GSW she's lost at least a pint." Hill called out to guy that came towards us, I think some sort of doctor. I looked at Nat to see that she wasn't looking good.

"Maybe two." I added on.

"Let me take her." The guy called out, making me tense. She wasn't going anywhere without one of us.

"She'll want to see him first." What?

"Who's him?" I wonder out loud but I wasn't given an answer. We were led to a makeshift hospital, and there lay Fury in bad shape. I didn't even know he was hurt!

"About damn time. lacerated spinal column, cracked sternum, shattered collar bone, perforated liver, one hell of a headache." I stay silent, shocked. He could of died and I would have no idea.

"Don't forget your collapsed lung." The doctor guy piped in, as he tended to Nat.

"Must not forget that. Otherwise, I'm good." I shake my head in disbelieve.

"They cut you open, your heart stopped." WHAT? 

"Hang on, you died?"

"Glad to know you care." He then turned back to Nat. "Tetrodotoxin B, slows the pulse down to one a minute. Banner developed it for stress. It didn't work so great for him, but we found another use for it." I bring my hands up to my head and turn before questioning him. 

"Why the secrecy? Why not just tell us? Why fake your death?"

"Any attempt on the directors life had to look successful." Hill answers me.

"Can't kill you if you're already dead. Besides, I wasn't sure who to trust." I nod understandingly. 

"I'm still pissed you died and I didn't know." Fury chuckles a little but no one else does. I guess I maybe shouldn't have attempted a joke. 


We were all sitting round a table talking while we awaited Fury. I pulled Nat aside  to talk to her. Now or never.

"So you know when I sort of died." She nodded. "I saw the nogitsune and he spoke about having unlocked this new power or something."

"Woah, back up. Yous aw him? Like not just a voice?" She asks confused.

"Yeah, he's just like I remember. Wrapped in bandages, the bomber jacket, the teeth that defiantly need a trip to  the dentist. Everything. I have an idea about what this new power I supposedly unlock by dying." I hesitated not knowing how she will take my request.

"Okay, what is it? It may help us now or in the future." I sighed.

"I don't think I can die. The nogitsune was immortal and like two thousand years old. I think every time I die I see him in sort of bardo, before returning back to this world."

"I'm sorry, bardo?"

"It literally mean the state between life and death. It's how the nogitsune first managed to possess me." Nat now seems alarmed, I'm not sure why.

"If that's how he got in before, what makes you think he can't get in again? He's already talking to you in your head, how big of a jump is it to control your body. Stiles this is bad." I sigh frustrated.

"No I've seen bad this is alright. I can live with this, hell the only reason I'm alive is because of it." I stop and when she doesn't respond I continue. "I need to know for sure. I need to die."

"Are you serious? No! Absolutely no way!" She whisper shouted at me as to not draw the attention of the others over to our argument. I wave my arms frantically in the air, trying to get my reasons across.

"It'll work and if it doesn't I'm okay with that." Nat was taken back by the harsh reality of my words. I'm okay with dying. 

"Since when were you suicidal!" She shouted at me in anger. Sam, Cap and Hill had heard and all looking at me confused. 

"What's going on?" Cap asked, I stayed quiet just glaring at Nat.

"Stiles died today, but came back after a little chat with the nogitsune. He now wants to risk dying to see if he's immortal or not." Nat spitted out glaring back at me. 

"What? Why would you risk that?" Cap asked me confused and shocked, but Sam seems like he understands. I had confided in Sam about my previous mental health issues, he gets it.

"Because I have nothing. Sure I've got you guys and the others but- My dad shot me, my uncle died and then the people from my old life that meant the world to me cast me out for being a killer." I looked at Nat's hidden gun in her jacket and knew I would have to do it myself. "I need to know." I grabbed the gun and shot my forehead before anyone could react. 


I was greeted once more by darkness. And then the face that use to fill my dreams with sorrow. 

"I see you're back. Suicide, really?" 

"It's the only way I can get answers. I was right wasn't I. I can't die." 

"No, you can't die. But there's a catch." Oh god.

"What is it? Tell me!"

"Never trust a fox. You know that right?" He stalked around me, making me more and more nervous. "Every time you die I get closer to the surface."

"You mean-"

"YES. So keep dying, put your life at risk or better yet take it." He chuckles and a shiver runs down my spine. He leans in by my ear and whispers. "Deaths acoming." 


I gasp, sitting up right from my lying position. Fury was now in the room along with the Doctor. Everyone looks at me, surprised and relieved. 

"Stiles, you okay?" Sam asks me. I nod, licking my dry lips. 

"I'm alive aren't I?" I smirk a little, but his words still echoed in my head.

Deaths acoming



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