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❝i'm just a suicidal kid telling other suicidal kids that suicide is not the answer. ❞
SUICIDE. the word suicide caught your attention, didn't it? the truth is, suicide catches everyone's attention. it's the actions that lead up to suicide that go unnoticed.
i am broken from the inside. the depression that slowly gnawed away at me has finally swallowed me whole, and i could not defeat it. i detested myself. i grabbed my disjointed memories and yelled at them to pull themselves together but was met with no response. if i can't help myself to breath properly, it's better to stop breathing at all.
every second is a second of losing grip. do you know what it's like to burst into tears at any moment? to be surrounded by people and feel so alone? to cry and scream when no one can hear you, to grip tightly onto your stomach and feel the pain take over? to have countless reasons to live, just so you don't give in. do you? do you know what it's like to feel so unsure and so insecure all the time? to feel as though the ones you love will give up on you as easily as you gave up on yourself? to feel as though anyone or anything can make you feel better? not anymore. to constantly battle yourself? to agonize in emotions, that choke your better thoughts? to look down at your arm everyday and see scars that will forever be there; scars that call for more? to be in a house that echoes with chaos and screams? to feel out of control in your feelings and thoughts? to think that death is your only peaceful serenity to this harsh life? to fear that you'll end up where you were once before, dancing with death because the pain got so bad. to hear over and over again that things will get better, when really, you've been hearing that all your life? so tell me... if you were me, would you really be okay?
to understand another person, you must swim in the same waters that drowned them.
i have sadness living in places where it shouldn't live. i am tired of earth. i am tired of these people. i am tired of being caught in the tangle of their lives, as well as my own.
i lay in bed every night, and think about everything. i want to scream and cry but i don't want to wake anyone. instead i just lay there, pony's arm snaked around my waist, and the pain just breaks inside of me.
i'm lost, and everything i have loved has turned to stone.
i love you guys, and i'll miss you forever. thank you for making these past fourteen years of my life less shitty (i'm sorry for cursing, dar. i have to live a little before i end everything). you guys have been my rocks, my supermen, and everything that has kept me going through everything. thank you for that, i love you all so much.
i know i'll soon be forgotten, but please remember one thing.
i'm broken.
sincerely gone, logan faye curtis.
a/n: you matter. please stay. i love you. remember there is a light at the end tunnel. if it's not okay, it's not the end. the national suicide prevention lifeline is 1800-273-8255.
