Coffee Shop

• 10 •

I couldn't just eat.

The second the door closed behind me, I fell back into it and slid down until my butt hit the floor. With my hands to my lips, I let my mind race: I couldn't just go out with him, eat, and pretend that what I just saw didn't happen; I couldn't just be his friend.

I saw it in his eyes, a fire that burned; I felt it in his touch, the heat beneath his fingers. There was a longing there, a need, something that probably developed over the months of knowing me. And now, right now, he was vulnerable, right? He had a bad day, he was discouraged and hurting, and a friend would be the one to share a shake with him and tell him it was okay.

A part of me told me I should do it, I should be that shoulder for him. I just—I couldn't. Why? Because that fire, that heat—I felt it, too. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think of him endlessly at night, or dream of him in a way that left me tangled in my blankets. Going to a diner with him, sharing a plate of fries, would not only be doing him harm but me, too.

He needed to be just Brian tonight—not Brian and Kay.

I need a reason. A voice. 

Slowly, I reached into my pocket for my phone. If there was a single person who could tell me a simple yes or no, it was Jun. And it wasn't like I hadn't reached out to my brother before with boy problems. It was the norm in my teens. Jun always had the best advice, too.

But when I opened my call log to ring him, he didn't answer. My phone buzzed and buzzed in my hands, yet... nothing. "Please leave a message for—" my phone said, but I hung up before it even gave me the option to leave a voicemail.

Biting my lip, I pressed my head against the door. "Doesn't take this long to get a purse, Kay..." I whispered to myself, squeezing my eyes shut.

But I need something, someone, anyone.

Opening one eye, I scrolled to my newest contact—Jade. I wasn't sure why... we didn't know each other. But she'd given me the option when she wrote her number on my hand. She was open to text messages, gossip, and all that. And right now I just needed a yes or no. She didn't need the whole situation. I just needed... a push in a direction.

Even though it could be the wrong way... Apps had burned me worse, anyway.

I tapped the small envelope under Jade's name and typed, Hey, it's Kay. You know, book shop girl. I just need you to tell me yes or no.

A minute passed. And another. I couldn't help but glance at the door, wondering if Brian had become impatient. Maybe he'd up and leave me here. Yes, yes, maybe he'll give up and I don't have to do this.

But... as I thought that, my phone buzzed. Jade's name appeared on the notification. Um, weird hi, but whatever. What's the yes or no, too? Am I burying a body? I need to know these things.

I could've laughed, should've laughed, but I didn't have the time. Quickly, I responded, Just a yes or no, Jade. That's all. Aha.

The next text didn't take long to arrive. Just seconds. I sighed in relief as I read Jade's response, Ok, well then... no.

Thanks! No one ever understood my roulette process of elimination, but I accepted Jade's "No," and stood. It was the little push I needed. So, while I sucked in a breath, I turned to open the door and give Brian my real response.

"Hey," I started to say, but when I looked back into the shop, I found I didn't have a response to give. I was silent. I forced my mouth shut.

Brian stood at the shop's front door with his back leaned against it. He looked down at his phone, fingers scrolling along the screen, oblivious to the look on my face.