t r u t h s l a p | critique shop [temp. closed]

God's Cage

God's Cage by Onixizette

Critique language: English
Date posted: 8th February, 2019

Warning: You may or may not like what you are about to read. Nonetheless, I don't give a flying fig about it. Not only once did I warn you. Sorry, not sorry.

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This novel stands out. At least for me, in my library.

First of all, the setting is in the Philippines. Not just that, it emphasizes a better, stronger Philippines. Plus, the genre is science fiction. Thank goodness, I wouldn't have to read cringey, overused romance.

The book cover is perfect. It gives sci-fi vibes. I didn't judge it at first glance, but that is my first impression. After reading enough chapters, I looked at the cover again and I can say it matches the theme of the story.

The blurb is perfect. It created a picture in my head of what the Philippines would look like in the future. It introduced me to the protagonist, and it mentioned the conflict in the story. The words used were effective. I feel like I was reading a professionally edited blurb. Kudos to the author.

The opening is smoothly written, but if I were a lazy reader, or just a reader who wants entertainment straightway, I would probably stop reading on chapter two. Why? On the first two chapters, nothing particularly interesting happens. Sure, introducing the characters and the world is very important especially when writing sci-fi. But there needs to be an inciting incident that changes the ordinary life of the protagonist as soon as possible. The author shouldn't make readers wait for too long.

Also, I noticed that every character Cade encounters, he gives the all information about that person all at once. That might overwhelm the readers. There is too much info-dumping. I believe there are more creative ways to introduce the supporting characters than just telling the readers every detail about them in a paragraph.

And why the hell does Cade always describes the sky? Yes, it is bad when done repeatedly and not really significant to the plot. Unless it's something strange and interesting like 'I stared at the green skies, my mouth gaping as the clouds were slowly turning red. Oh no, it's literally raining cats and dogs!'

I read further and felt kind of annoyed that nothing happens, just the everyday life of the characters. Well, except for the part where the fridge opened itself and the utensils moved without physical touch. Other than that, I think all those chapters contained filler scenes.

On the other hand, chapter seven onwards, interesting events started to happen. And at that point I understood why God's Cage is the title.

On the fourteenth chapter, I get why Cade's family has too much exposure in the beginning. I didn't expect what happened right there. That tragic event triggered Cade to use his ability in front of everyone. Then one thing led to another. This is the inciting incident that I was talking about!

I just don't understand where the Russians had the guts to declare war against the Philippines. I mean, sure they want to have the gatalact region for themselves but claiming it when it's clear that the Philippines owned it? (Buti sana kung tulad ito ng West Philippine/South China Sea issue.) Sounds irrational and ridiculous. Unless, this has something to do with the plot twist. It should have something to do with the plot twist.

And since languages change over time, I am suggesting that the author improve the dialogue, because it just sounds like the today's world. If technology advances, so is language. What would English sound hundreds of years from now? Will Filipino words that we use today still be used on the next centuries to come? I am looking forward to read a conversation of people from the future.

I have a feeling that the author could write this novel in full English. But I understand that there are some thoughts that can be expressed better in Filipino. This is just the first draft anyway. Of course the author can translate this to full English if he wishes to. I hope he does because I want this book to have international readers.

Although the concept of mutation is common in sci-fi books, I bet psychokinesis is new to many. The story line is good, the characters are cool, the theme is unique. This novel is worth-reading.

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Siren's Message:

Onixizette, this critique is based on the first half of the novel. I stopped reading at chapter 26 cuz I realized I still have so many stories to critique. But be assured that I enjoyed myself so much at nakaabot ako sa chapter na 'yan. :>