I Have To Love Myself First | KiriBaku

[4] Weights Lifted off Our Chests..

A/N: Some really light kiribaku moments in this chapter uwu

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Kirishima swallowed lump in his throat. "Well, I will admit, I was avoiding something... But I swear it wasn't you!" Kirishima raised his hands defensively. "Well if you weren't avoiding me, then what the fuck were you avoiding?!" Bakugo growled. Under all of his hard protective layers, Bakugo felt really hurt when he thought kirishima was ditching him. He thought he was losing his best friend, his favorite person in the whole damn school-- no, world. The person who treated him as an equal- an actual human being- someone who, under all the layers of anger, had a heart, a sensitive one at that. So when he kirishima said those words, he felt a small sense of relief within him. "I'm...I-I can't tell you..." Kirishima spoke softly, he looked down, peeking up at the blonde. "What? Why?" Bakugo softened his voice now that he knew he wasn't the problem, and because he was genuinely worried what was wrong with his bestfriend.

"Well ah-- I just can't okay?!" Kirishima raised his voice, he was struggling to hold back his tears; his eyes were red and his cheeks were flushed. "Kirishima, why can't you just tell me? Am I not your friend? Friends communicate their feelings with each other right? That's what you told me..." Bakugo really wanted to raise his voice, but he noticed something was wrong with Kirishima and decided against it. For Bakugo, it was hard talking about his feelings and comforting people. Kirishima felt bad, and accidentally let a tear slip.

"I can't!" He yelled.

Bakugos heart dropped just like the tear that fell from Kirishimas' eye. "Kirishima- you're crying. It must be serious- Please tell me." Bakugo looked at Kirishima with concern and upturned eyebrows. The blonde caressed the others cheek and wiped away the tear. "Please..." He said with desperate in his voice.

"Please... don't tell anyone... please..." Kirishima pleaded as more tears started to fall. Bakugo placed both of his warm hands onto Kirishimas' red cheeks. "I promise, I won't." He said, looking into Kirishimas' eyes reassuringly.

"I um.. I was avoiding lunch I guess.. I didn't want to go back after..." Kirishima cut himself off and started sobbing. Bakugo immediately engulfed his bestfriend with a hug and rubbed his back. After a few minutes and when Kirishima had calmed down a bit, Bakugo had pulled away.

"After what, Kirishima?" He asked.

"After I made myself... m-myself... throw up in the bathroom."

"Oh... Kirishima..." All Bakugo knew what to do was hug the red head again and let him cry into into shoulder.

The blonde felt... lost... and all he could do was blame himself. How could he have never noticed? How kirishima never ate lunch, or how his body was slowly withering away. Or that one time when he went a little to hard with sparing, and had to carry kirishima to recovery girl. He had felt so light and that made Bakugo wonder, but he never did anything. Anything! And kirishima had suffered alone and in silence for who knows how long. Kirishima was shaking, practically vibrating within the ashy blondes arms. Bakugo scooted closer to kirishima, holding him tightly. He rubbed small circles around the red heads back and cooed caring words into his ear.

This went on for a few minutes until it seemed kirishima had calmed down enough to be stable. Bakugo pulled away, each of their own breaths being the only noise in the room. The blonde closely examined kirishimas face. Kirishimas eyes were puffy and red. Tear stains ran down along the boys cheeks. A subtle wet spot hung out on Bakugos shirt, quite large in size. He brought one of his hands up, cupping kirishimas cheek. He grazed his thumb over the soft skin, whipping away the stranded tear. "... Now tell me... how long has this been going on...?" Bakugo asked softly, staring directly into the identical red eyes.

"... Too long..." Kirishima spoke in a strained, monotone voice. "But why...why do this to yourself?" Bakugo questioned, it hurt him deeply, seeing the broken boy in front of him like this and knowing what he's doing to himself. "..I don't want to say....not..not yet at least
..." It was hard for kirishima to keep his gaze locked onto the others. "I understand..." Bakugo rested both of his hands in kirishimas shoulders, taking in deep breaths.

"I just...I really fucking care about you, okay? I want to help you..but..but I don't want to push you and make you do something that you don't want to. So just..keep me in mind, okay?". Bakugo smiled warmly, a genuine one that was barely ever shown, just trying to lighten up the mood. He cared too much about the red haired punk, and had a vanurable soft spot for the boy. Kirishima nodded his head, rubbing harshly at his eye. The sight of Bakugo smiling was so adorable and made him feel a little better already.

A smile of his own tugged lightly at the corner of his lips...but that didn't fully take away the pain he felt inside. The pain was a deep buzzing that flowed within him, his stomach felt so empty... so hallow. Kirishima was taken back from his invading negative thoughts as Bakugo hugged him once more. He buried his face into the crook of Bakugos neck, taking in his pleasant scent.

Bakugo did as before and messaged kirishimas back with circles. He honestly just wanted to feel the red head in his arms again. The blonde thought he was being selfish, but he couldn't help it. Kirishima eyelids began to feel heavy, and his breath slowed down. The warmth the blonde provided for him and the light message of his back made him really sleepy. Soon enough, the mentally exaughtsed red head fell fast asleep, still in Bakugos arms.

Bakugo hadn't noticed that kirishima was falling asleep until he was fully supporting the weight of the boy and soft snores could be heard. His cheeks lightly flushed with pink as he internally panicked. Slowly but surely, Bakugo unhooked kirishimas arms from around him, and laid him gently onto his bed. He tried to carefully sit up, but before he could escape the bed, a cold hand found it's way around his wrist. A mumbled "stay" came from kirishima. Bakugo hesitantly lowered him self onto the bed, keeping himself a good distance from the half asleep boy. But those actions were ruined as kirishimas' arm wrapped around Bakugos torso.

Bakugo did the same as his flustered cheeks never died down. He slowly fell asleep as well. Their warm breaths mixed as their legs were soon to be tangled. The evening light shone dimly through the thin curtains that covered up the windows. And the soft chirping up the birds could be faintly heard from the outside.

A/N Words: 1163
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