Owned; sequel to Coveted

Hoseok

     Why do I always do this? Why can't I just stop doubting his love for me and making us both miserable? I'm a horrible mate. He deserves so much better. I'm nothing. I'm worthless. I can't give him anything. What's the point of living?
      I should have just died with our baby. It was my fault. I should have sensed something was wrong. I should have known. No matter what Namjoon says I know he has to think that way too.
      I've forced myself away from him and withdrawn from Jimin and Jungkook as well. Only coming around to babysit for them to make up for it. Living vicariously through babysitting them since I'll never have my own...
      I just know Namjoon will eventually get fed up and leave me. He's so handsome and amazing and I see how everyone looks at him. They probably wonder why he stays with me. He can have anyone. I know so many vampires come on to him. Hybrids, too.
       Eventually he's going to go to one of them for his needs—dropping me and my heavy baggage altogether. I don't blame him. I'd drop me, too...
 
    "I think I know what you need."
     I raise my gaze up to see Jimin frowning down at me, hands on hips. I can't help but slightly keep resenting him. He's so beautiful even after six years. He's happily mated with two others and has everything. Everything I don't. Can't.
     "W-What?" I grumble. Wrapping myself up like a cocoon in my blanket on the couch. So I've become lazy and slobbish and honestly don't give a fuck about anything. Depression.
      Sighing, he sits down beside me grimacing at all the candy wrappers on the couch. I glare at him, daring him to comment on my growing fatness.
       Wisely, he doesn't remark. "You need a therapist. You need some outside help." He announces
       Scoffing, I take a sip of hot chocolate. "No, I need you to stop judging me." Retorting childishly.
      "I'm not judging you. We all get it, Hoseok. You think I'm not depressed about losing my brother? I think about it every single day but I go on!"
      "Yeah because you have a child to raise! You actually have something to live for!" I scream, tears blinding me.
      "And you don't! What about your mate, huh? You think he's not struggling just as hard. You're being selfish and childish. Its been six years! Six fucking years and you won't even let him touch you!"
      I gasp, embarrassed. "Did he tell you that?!" Has he talked about how disappointed and ashamed of me he is? Oh my god...this is humiliating.
"Of course not! You do remember my mate is also his best friend and partner, right?" He scoffs. "This isn't fair to him. You have to get over this rut."
"It's easy for you, Jimin! You have no idea what I'm going through! Jimin—Jin sacrificed himself! He knew what he was doing and getting into. This isn't the same thing at all! Your brother's psycho mate killed my baby! I lost him because of them! I should have listened to Namjoon then and maybe I wouldn't have lost it!"
He flinches but I refuse to feel guilty. I'm too angry. Too broken. Too upset. His shoulders slump. "I get that. It's not the same. There is nothing I can say to change what happened but it's been six years, Hobi. Please, please consider this. Not for me but for you and Namjoon. You both deserve to be happy and start fresh." He pleads. I can't say he isn't right.
I look away, dejected. "Namjoon is going to leave me."
"He's stuck by you for six years going through this. I highly doubt he'll change his mind." Jimin mutters reasonably. Too bad I'm not reasonable right now. Not one bit.
"I wish he'd just leave me. He should. Just leave me to wallow in my guilt and depression and move on. He deserves better. I can't be what he needs and wants anymore. I'm fat and ugly. He's ashamed of me, I know it." I whisper.
Holding back a cry, Jimin crushes me in a hug and I close my eyes, allowing myself to accept the comfort. He's right. This has to stop. I'm ruining everyone else's happiness.
Pulling back, he wipes my tears. "We're going to work on this, okay? I've been thinking of asking Kookie and Yoongi to watch the kids while me and you take a break. Go away and get some air. Do you want to get away and maybe see someone? I'll go with you." He offers.
I open my mouth to protest but stop myself. I can't live like this. I'm tired of dragging everyone down with me. Namjoon deserves better and if he isn't going to leave my dumbass then the least I can do is try to get better for him.
"O-Okay...Okay. I'll get help." I look into his clear kind eyes. "Please help me."
"I will. Let's get you better."