HYUN [ JJK ]

32

"Jae, has Jeongguk called you yet?"

Jaehwa who had her chin propped on her hands, shook her head lightly, eyes still fixated to the classic novel before her.

"Did you try to call him?"

Jaehwa sighed, rolling her eyes before she looked at her friend sitting across her. If they were not in the library at the moment, she swore to God she had yelled at Yerin for asking her the same thing all over again. Yes, Jaehwa knew the latter was trying to help, but her effort eventually got on her nerves. Yerin asked about Jeongguk every day as if that guy was someone she couldn't live a day without. Yerin asked her to do things as if she was the one who's at fault.

Maybe she was a bit too much for taking what Jeongguk said so seriously, but even if they were fighting and not in a good term now, it clearly had nothing to do with Yerin. Plus, the fact that Jeongguk didn't call to ask for help showed that the guy was doing fine and her job as a babysitter probably had ended since last week—since the day they went to the daycare centre.

"Jae- hey Kim Jaehwa!"

Not wanting to hear anything from Yerin, Jaehwa got up from her seat and headed towards the second level of the library. Despite the silence, her head was pounding so bad as if she was currently in a night club, could feel her heart beating against her eardrums like booming speakers that she had always despised.

Jaehwa wouldn't lie that she did think about Jeongguk and their current situation sometimes, admitted that she was too petty for not letting what he said slide. She couldn't pinpoint the reason why it hurt her so much to be made fun of that way by him. Jaehwa should've known her limit, and now she blamed herself for hoping for something more from Jeongguk.

There would be times where she was so close to giving Jeongguk a call to know if he was doing well, worried if he needed help with Hyun. Though Jaehwa could tell that he had improved so much, Jeongguk was still Jeongguk who sometimes got too carried away by his video games and social life. Hyun would be turning 8 months soon and that meant the little boy would be moving around a lot by now. Jaehwa wondered if Jeongguk was coping well with chasing Hyun around, wondered if he cooked edible food for Hyun since she hadn't been around him for almost a week now.

The weird feeling came again, striking her like a lightning without any warning. Her mood to read the novel she just borrowed was completely gone and all she felt at the moment was to sit still and do nothing. Jaehwa shuffled towards the last aisle at the second floor, an aisle where old books were placed. It was so isolated that she sometimes spent her time there alone, away from everyone, away from Yerin.

Jaehwa sighed as she sat on the floor, not bothering if the dust and dirt would stain her white blouse. Burying her face in her palms, she closed her eyes shut, the image of Jeongguk playing with Hyun flashed before her eyes like a movie she wanted to erase forever. The sight melt her heart, but no, she wasn't supposed to have a thing for Jeongguk when all he did was developing some kind of feelings for babies.

But at the same time, that was the thing that made a guy look more attractive.

Shaking her head to get rid of those nonsense thoughts off her mind, Jaehwa then swallowed hard, bracing herself to get up and walk away from the aisle but came into a halt when she bumped into someone she didn't expect at all.

There, standing before her eyes was Jeongguk's friend, staring at her small frame as if he just saw a ghost. His eyes widened, lips ajar before he hesitantly pointed his index finger at Jaehwa.

"Jae- Jaehwa? What are you doing here?"

The book in Jaehwa's hands dropped onto the floor yet she couldn't register the loud thud, too perplexed to see the guy standing across her. She was about to ask him the same thing, but when her eyes landed on the lanyard around his neck, she almost forgot how to breathe properly.

God, was this some kind of destiny, or simply a curse that she could never avoid?

_______

Hoseok was quick to help her calm down but that didn't help to make Jaehwa's heart beat at its normal pace again. They were sitting across each other now—though Jaehwa initially wanted to decline the offer when Hoseok said he would treat her lunch, she ended up nodding, guilt washing over her body when the guy pouted.

The air was awkward but Hoseok was surprisingly good at hammering the wall of silence between them when he was the first one to initiate a conversation.

"I had no idea that you're going to this university too." Hoseok beamed, showing off his perfectly aligned teeth.

"Me too."

"What is your major?"

"I'm a literature major." Hoseok nodded upon her response, leaning his back against the chair afterwards.

"That's cool. I never thought a girl like you love literature. Do you know that Jeongguk majors in film production?" Jaehwa pursed her lips before muttering a small yeah, almost inaudible to Hoseok's ears. "I'm majoring in the same field too."

As much as Jaehwa didn't want to ask, her curiosity, however, got the best of her when Hoseok started mentioning Jeongguk's name.

"It's been four days since Hyun goes to the daycare centre, right?" Hoseok looked stunned for a while but the guy eventually nodded. "How's he? Is Jeongguk fine with sending and fetching Hyun all by himself?"

Hoseok's shoulders slumped, an almost inaudible sigh escaped his lips before he pursed his lips firmly. Upon his reaction, Jaehwa wondered if she just said something wrong, something that was too personal as if she didn't have the right to know how Jeongguk and the little boy were doing at the moment. Maybe her job as the babysitter had ended, but looking at the other side—where Jaehwa did everything because she had thought Jeongguk as a friend and not just a random single father—, she thought that she still had the right to have at least a piece of information.

And to see how Hoseok's lips quivered made Jaehwa want to grab both of his shoulders and force him to blurt the words out.

"Jeongguk is fine..." Hoseok trailed off, sparing Jaehwa a glance before looking down at his drink again. "His life is a bit messy now but I can see that he's coping. But Hyun..."

"Hyun? What's wrong with Hyun?!" Jaehwa swallowed hard, didn't mind the fact that she just raised her voice at Hoseok. 

Hoseok rubbed his temples, taking a sharp inhale as he straightened his back. "You know that Hyun doesn't open up to new people easily, right? I wasn't with Jeongguk when he sent Hyun to the daycare centre on the first day, but Jeongguk told me that Hyun was crying nonstop. So on the next day, I decided to tag along, and the same thing happened. Hyun cried so hard when the woman took him away from Jeongguk. Jeongguk looked rather calm, but come on, I know it must be hard for him to see Hyun acting that way. After all, the fatherly side in him is showing a bit too much recently."

Jaehwa's breath hitched, and for some reason, she could picture Hyun's face flushed red, hot tears rolling down those chubby cheeks that she had missed to pinch and squish.

"Yesterday, Jeongguk was so dead during the lecture. I'm not even exaggerating, Jaehwa. He's literally dead. When I asked him why, he said he didn't sleep even for a blink the night before because Hyun had a fever."

A wave of guilt washed over Jaehwa's entire being as she started to hate herself for being so self-centered for putting her stupid feelings as the priority when she herself knew how Hyun was, and how Jeongguk struggled to make sure everything was in its place.

"Is Hyun okay now?" Jaehwa asked, a deep frown etched into her forehead as she waited for Hoseok to reply.

"I don't know." He shrugged. "Jeongguk didn't tell me anything regarding Hyun's condition."

_______

a/n:
i decided to cancel the Q&A session because most of the questions will be answered as we go deeper into the story :)