Let me in (Lams AU) [On hold (?)]

Chapter 7

I'm sorry about this chapter

Alexander's POV

I decided to take off the uncomfortable bandages for awhile and just wear my large hoodie that has 'Sleep Is For The Weak' written on it.

Currently I am sitting on the couch, staring at the ceiling and slowly dozing off. Sleep only brings me troubles of my past.

(IM SO SORRY, THERE WILL BE A LOT OF ABUSE UP AHEAD FROM ALEXS' PAST. SEXUAL/MENTAL/PHYSICAL)

I'm sitting on a couch in a fairly familiar, small home. I look up to see my father speed-walking towards me.

Panic floods my senses as he grabs me by my wrist and kicks me in the stomach. I let out a sharp yelp of pain as his fist makes sudden sharp connection with my jaw.

I let out a sob as he takes his belt and repeatedly thrashed it across my back, screaming Spanish slurs for being bisexual.

This vision fades to black. But an even worse one comes to view.

I am standing in the doorway to my cousins room, Peter. Next thing I know, I'm being pulled by the hair to the room I would be staying in at his house. I yelp in agonizing pain as he continued to drag me to the room at the end of the hall.

I feel him loosen his grip of my hair, but immediately am met with being picked up and slightly thrown into the room, landing on my upper arm that was littered with cut I inflicted on myself.

⚠️THIS COULD BE A HUGE TRIGGER FOR SOME PLEASE BE AWARE WHILE READING BITS AND PIECES OF THE NEXT FLASHBACK THERE WONT BE DETAIL BUT IT COULD STILL BE A TRIGGER ⚠️

I try to gain balance as I stand up, but am immediately am pushed back down by my cousins larger hands.

"P-Peter...?" I squeak. He smacks me, causing me to shut up instantly. I watched peter go to the other side of the room to the door, he locked it and looked at me. I was fucking terrified. He walked towards me with this look in his eyes. He pushed me down on the floor and climbed on top of me.

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I bolt up at a sound of something falling. I frantically look over to see John. I calmed down, but remembered what I had gone through. I let out a choked sob and immediately covered my mouth. However John heard and looked over to see me sobbing. 

His eyes widened as he ran over to me. He pulled me into a hug, causing me to flinch and start sobbing. He loosened his grip on me and gently stroked my hair. I let out a shaky breath as I started calming down.

"Alex, please tell me what happened.." He quietly said when I finally calmed down. I attempted to stop my shaking hands to sign something, but instead I wasn't thinking and did something else.

"I-It-It's n-n-not-nothi-ng.." I choked out, immediately clasping my hands over my mouth. He looked down at me, shocked, but smiled at one point.

"Your voice is beautiful.. but please tell me what happened..?" He quietly asked, pulling me into another tight hug. I was not expecting this and froze, expecting what happened last time I spoke. I started sobbing harder.

"Hey.. Lex please tell me.. I want to help you." He said calmly. I only shook my head at him and started crying again.

John's POV

"I-It-It's n-n-not-nothi-ng.." He quietly said, almost inaudible, but I still heard his beautiful voice. He realized he actually spoke, because he immediately clasped his hands over his mouth and started to quietly sob.

"Your voice is beautiful.. but please tell me what happened..?" I asked him, my tone quiet to not startle him. I pulled him into another tight hug, causing him to freeze up and sob slightly harder.

"Hey.. Lex please tell me.. I want to help you." I said, sounding calmer than I felt. He only shook his head and started to sob once more.

I pulled him into my lap, craddling him back and forth until he started calming down. He sniffled and whipped his eyes with the back of his sleeve.

Then I remembered he cut himself. I gently grabbed his arm causing him to slightly wince. I gently pulled his sleeve back to reveal newer cuts than before. I silently gasped at how many cuts were on his arm. He looked away and tilted his head down to the floor, avoiding my gaze.

"I thought you stopped cutting after I saw them the first time...?" I silently questioned him as I tried to catch his gaze. He sunk down and shook his head. I sighed and gently rubbed his arm.

"Can you at least tell me what you were thinking about? I would like to know.." I quietly asked, finally catching his gaze.

"I can't tell you.. It's nothing anymore." He signed, averting his eyes to break our eye contact. A question popped in my head.

"What about your family?" I asked and almost immediantly get a response.

"Unimportant." He very quickly signs to me. I became suspicious. I give a small 'Okay' and continue to gently stroke his arm.

"I want to know what happened so I can help.. please?" I asked, still extremely worried with what he was remembering.

"I want to tell you, but I can't bring myself to say it.. it'll be like last time.." He signed, his hand slightly shaking in the process. What happened last time?

I gently moved his head to look up at me. "Please.. what happened last time? What do you want to tell me?" I asked. His expression looked almost, broken.

"I'm.. scared to tell you.." He signed, moving his gaze to the ground. What could he be scared of telling me?

"Please..?" I pleaded. He looked at me and frowned.

"I'm not telling you. Please stop asking.." He signed, looking at me with an expression I couldn't say no to. I sighed and decided to drop it.

"Okay, but I'm still gonna be curious ya know.." I said, letting out a small laugh. He let out an adorable giggle and only nodded.

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WoOoOoW

Sorry for the long wait for a chapter-
I'm here now though

Love,
Mads