Short Stories (bxb)

Happy Place Pt. 6: Larger Than Life

i noticed a very small, very unintentional cmbyn reference when i was editing this, let's see if anyone spots it

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Santiago didn't speak for several minutes. When he lifted his head, there was an emptiness in his eyes that Danny hated with his whole heart. It looked like defeat. "So that's it? You're just going to . . . go?"

      Danny could see it. He could see the tiny thread of hope that Santiago had been holding onto for all of these years stretch, ready to snap. After all Santiago had been through — after all they'd been through — Danny refused to be what broke him.

     "Don't say it like that," Danny protested. "Like it's easy for me."

     "Fucking seems like it is," Santiago snapped; he didn't mean to be harsh, but his head was spinning and he didn't know what he felt. Anger came first. "You just show up, give me a three-day warning and pop out like it's nothing."

     "You know it's not nothing," Danny said pleadingly. "You know that I'm hurting just as bad as you are --"

    "Then why didn't you tell me?" Santiago cried, rising shakily to his feat and glaring brutally down at Danny. "You've been planning this all year -- that's why you overloaded yourself, and worked so much, and . . .  and you couldn't even tell me?"

    "I tried!" Danny swore, standing as well. "Fuck, you have no idea how hard I tried!"

    "Not hard enough!" Santiago yelled, pacing back and forth furiously. "I feel like such an idiot! Here I've been, making all of these plans, talking about college nonstop -- while you were just playing along, preparing to completly blindside me!"

     "Santiago!" Danny took hold of Santiago's forearms, forcing him to stop. "Santiago, look at me."

     So Santiago turned to face him. His eyes were red, but he refused to cry.

     "This was cruel, Daniel," Santiago snarled. He kept his voice low, but Danny almost wished he would yell again. "So fucking cruel. If you don't see that, you need to. You need to feel as bad as I do right now. This was an awful, awful thing to do to me, and there's no way I deserved it. How could you -- why would you do this? Why didn't you tell me?"

     Danny could feel his legs shaking. His knees threatened to buckle under the weight of guilt and broken promises. He took a slow, deep breath that did nothing to steady him and tightened his hold on Santiago's arms — the only thing keeping him upright. "I can't stay here," he said, putting every bit of honesty he had in him into his words, because he knew he owed it and Santiago deserved it. "This place -- this place haunts me. The only good thing is you."

    Somehow, Danny had made it worse. He saw it before Santiago opened his mouth. The words that came out were needles through Danny's chest, sharp enough to kill him but placed in just the right spots to do it slowly.

     "And that's not enough," Santiago muttered.

     The ground seemed to tilt at Danny's feet. He gripped Santiago's arms even tighter. "No," he said, shaking his head, desperate for Santiago to believe him. "I have to go. And I didn't tell you because -- becuse I didn't want to hurt you. And I know that's stupid, I know this hurt you more, but . . . I tried so many times. I couldn't do it. Santi, I'm so sorry."

    Some of the tension left Santiago's shoulders. He sank heavily back into the couch, looking anywhere but Danny's eyes. "I'm going to lose you," he whispered finally, like it was the worst thing that could happen to him -- and it was.