The Waiting One Part II: Waiting for the End

What's Necessary?

        They had a peaceful evening together. Serronie was burrowed under Zachary as they watched “MythBusters” on Netflix. She enjoyed the smell of his muscle shirt against his body. It was the perfect mixture of his natural aroma and the Anarchy scent of Axe body spray. She held him tightly because she remembered the security of being near him. He completed her.

        Zachary squeezed her closer and stretched out more on the sofa. Then he asked, “Hey, have you talked to your dad. He spoke with me last week, he hasn’t heard from you in some months.”

        She sighed and replied, “I haven’t talked to him. I really don’t want to either.”

        He frowned, “Why would you even say that, Ronnie?”

        “I just can’t face him. I don’t want to see him because I don’t want to ruin the image he has of his little girl.”

        “But nothing has changed about you, though.”

        Serronie then raised her voice, “I am… ashamed okay!” She took a deep breath and shook her head. Then she went on, “Look, I know that he is aware of what went on with Jesse, and I can’t even look him in the eyes.”

        He turned to her and gently grabbed her chin. “Look at me,” he requested.

        She slowly made her grey eyes meet his. He gave her a half smile and pressed his lips in concern. “Baby doll, what happened was not your fault. And I can guarantee that your dad does not hold any of that against you. I’ve kept in touch with your dad; and he wants blood from Jesse just like me.”

        “I know, but the shame doesn’t go away. It took me long enough to pump myself up to come back and face you. In my head, it just seems like everyone thinks I could have done more to prevent that situation, like I should have seen it coming. My dad was pretty hard on me about boys when I was coming up. He taught me to always anticipate the worst and never give my trust up easily,” she explained.

        “Don’t do that, Serronie. You just did all of that time in therapy to get over this. You can’t go back to that place, because you know damn well there was NOTHING you could have done. I will not allow you to blame yourself and beat yourself up.” Zachary was serious.

        She pouted her lips, “I just want it all to disappear I swear. I hate this. Do you see me the same?” she asked.

        Zachary angled his head and huffed at her. He stared out across the room and then looked back at Serronie. “No. I do not see you differently at all. You are still the same Serronie that I lost my mind over. Jesse did not change that at all about you.”

        “And you’re sure my dad would feel the same way?” she asked as she lightly pinched at her bottom lip.

        “I’m positive. At this point, you just need all of the support that you can get, and your father is paramount. Go visit your dad.” That wasn’t a suggestion, it was a declaration.

        Serronie took what her husband said into serious consideration. Deep inside she knew that her dad could never shun her, but Jesse made her feel like she could never truly know what anyone was thinking. That was a problem. She couldn’t stand how much power Jesse had over her and he was nowhere around. It took a few days for her courage to grow, but she eventually decided to make that trip