sean and kaycee - one shots

i deserved better.

if you're reading this, skip to some of my later oneshots as these are nowhere as near as good as the ones i've produced lately, but if you want to start from the beginning and see my growth over the next few months go right ahead <3

- kami [ october 14, 2019 ]

*** i recommend staring at "it was cold outside" ✨☁️

kaycee's POV:

i deserved better. no. i deserve better. i deserve someone who will hold me while tears slip down my swollen eyes and a cry yelps from the depths of my throat.

i deserve someone who will hold my hand through the flash flood of my everyday issues, someone who will hold me and keep me grounded even through my worst.

i deserve someone who will support me. someone who will be beaming of light hearing about my success. who will help me continue even when the days feel long and all i want to do is give up . someone who can be happy for me no matter what i do, but that wasn't you.

i deserve someone who will love me. love me
for who i am and not who they want me to be. someone who will love me for everything that i am, all the sides of me, even the imperfect ones.

i deserve someone better than you. you found a way to tear me down even in my weakest of times, how did it feel to kick me when i was already down? i hope it was everything you thought it would be. you found a way to turn my success into failure, i didn't even do most of it for myself, i did it to prove myself, to prove that i wasn't a failure, but i guess i failed at that too.

you made every moment that was filled with joy and flipped it upside down into moments that i cry thinking about. why would you do that to me?

i gave you all of me. i gave you every single thing left of me and now i have nothing. i'm just flesh, bone and nothing else.

even when i had nothing left to give, you still asked for more of me.

i was so caught up in the idea of being with you that i didn't realize how fucking toxic you were, how toxic we were.

you fed off of my light and energy to make yourself feel worthy. you took everything i had left to make you feel better about yourself, but the sad part is it still wasn't enough.

no matter how much you took away from me, it will never be enough to fill your empty soul. i wonder how many girls you'll have to go through to realize that.

i hope that all of them realize how fucked up your life is that you feel the need to do the same to theirs. i hope they realize that it isn't them, that it's not their fault. that they're beautiful, oh so fucking beautiful and that they deserve so much, so much more. i hope they don't listen to you. i hope they don't fall into the toxicity of your so called, love like i did.

i hope they can get out. i hope they don't get stuck in this awful nothing like i have. the emptiness just floats around my soul leaking into my physical appearance. you have taken so much of me that i just long for the parts of me i once despised. just so i know how it once felt to be me.

a part of me feels sorry for you. i'm sorry that you feel the need to bring other people down to convince yourself that you're okay, but you're not.

maybe one day you will understand what you've done to me, but for now i will pick up the mess you made.

i'm going to find myself again. it's going to take a while, but god damn i will do it just to get out of the empty nothing.

i'm not going to wait for you to apologize, because quite honestly, i can't wait around forever.

since you won't apologize for your mistakes, i will apologize to you

sean, i'm so sorry.

i'm so sorry, that i didn't realize that
i deserved better.

///

hi beautiful person reading this.

i appreciate you guys so much for voting and commenting and just being so supportive. you literally have no idea how amazing you guys are! thank you all so so much! umm i wrote this in maybe 20 minutes so um it sucks. don't hate me!

pleases leave suggestions cause your girl is in a writers block & it sucks :)

alr bye :)

- kamille ♥️🌻