sean and kaycee - one shots

numb.

if you're reading this, skip to some of my later oneshots as these are nowhere as near as good as the ones i've produced lately, but if you want to start from the beginning and see my growth over the next few months go right ahead <3

- kami [ october 14, 2019 ]

*** i recommend staring at "it was cold outside" ✨☁️

TRIGGER WARNING:

kaycee sat in the bathroom floor, her gaze fixed on the sharp razor in her hand.

i'm so fucking numb, i feel absolutely nothing. i'm just floating in this dark ocean of nothing. i would do absolutely anything to feel, just feel something. it's just so much better than this horrible nothing.

just once. just once, to just feel, just feel something.

her eyes fell to her lock screen. a picture of sean and her. " i told you- i told you i would text you if i felt like doing it, but i can't." she said as the blade presses into her wrist, cutting deep until the blood spilled from the slits.

she sat on the bathroom floor, blood dripping from her arms and tears slipping from her eyes. for once, she could feel something.

she grabbed a white cloth hidden under her sink and wiped away the metallic redness from her floor and arms.

she scrubbed her fingers until there was no trace of the blood and walked out to the dining room for dinner, as if nothing happened.

and that was her life. as if it was a broken record, repeating, and repeating.

kaycee was getting ready for bed when she got up to a knock at her bedroom door. she jolted up to see sean standing in the doorway.

"what the hell, kayc?! you don't go to class for days and you don't even answer my texts! what the hell is going on?" he said anger slowly filling his voice.

"im fine, sean." she said as she pulled her sleeve down to hide the scars.

he walked over to her, pulling her sleeves up revealing the markings of pain all over her arms. "kayc-" he said. "sean what the fu-"

"you told me you would tell me kaycee. you promised me you would tell me when you wanted to do it. why didn't you come to me?" he asked absolutely heartbroken.

tears burst from her eyes like water from a broken dam. " i'm so sorry, sean. i just had to. i couldn't not feel anything."

"kaycee, you can't keep doing this to yourself. you need help. you need to seek professional help, because as much as i love you, i can't handle it."

" i do anything to make you happy, i do anything to take your mind off of the pain you're going through, but it just isn't enough. everyday i risk my own mental health to heal yours and it's just not enough!"

"i can't do it on my own, sean." she said as her lips trembled, " i need you."

"i'm not going to let you do this on your own. i'm going to be here by your side through it all. you just need to see a professional, because as much as i try to help, it isn't enough."