Love Island

11. The morning after the night before

Day 8
Couples:
Asher and Alex
Hannah and Dougie
Jodie and Kyle
Skye and Taylor
Violetta and James
Zoe and Sam

I wake up in the morning and notice that James is still asleep next to me. Last night we stayed up for hours talking about our relationship and where things were going. It was so nice hearing a man tell me that he sees a future with me, because I've never heard those words come out of anyone's mouth. My only worry is that last night I was too scared to tell him about my real history, and what my past relationships have been like. 

So I have no choice but to wake him up, even though he's really cute when he's asleep, because I know I have to tell him. "James, I really need to talk to you."

He rolls over and looks at me with sleepy eyes, "what is it?" He asks as he sits up in bed.

"So yesterday I didn't tell you something, and I know I have to. I can't leave without you knowing this, and I can't stay here without you knowing either." Without saying a word, he places his hand on top of mine, and instantly fills me with warmth. "So, you were talking about a future together, and I just think you should know that I don't think I'd be a very good partner. And I'm not saying that as an excuse not no be with you, because I want to be with you more than anything in the world."

"So why do you think that?" He asks, and he actually sounds really understanding.

"Because I've never been in a relationship." I blurt out, knowing it would be easier to just say it quickly rather than long it out. "When I was in high school, all the guys only cared about sex, and I knew that I wanted to start a relationship with someone without sleeping with them first, so that it's love rather than lust. Then when I was raped, I felt so violated. And I haven't had sex since, and you should know that before this goes any further."

I stare at him for a moment, and a small smile forms on his face. "I don't care if you've only slept with one man, and I wouldn't care if you'd slept with one hundred either. I love you for you, not for what's between your legs."

Even though it wasn't phrased in the best way, I know that the thought was there, and I love him for it. "James," I start, squeezing his hand just a little bit tighter. "I love you."

"I love you too." He whispers back, then pulls me into his arms, enclosing me in a hug. I pull away ever so slightly so that I can give him a kiss. 

After I kiss him, I look him in the eyes and realise that there's only one thing I can say right now. "I don't want to leave." He pulls away even more, making sure I'm being serious. "After last night and everything you've said this morning, I've realised that I couldn't care less what Asher's like in here because I have you by my side through it all. And of course I'm going to miss my little Neonata, but I'm just not ready to give up on us just yet."

"Crisis adverted." He chuckles nervously, "Come on, we should probably head back to the others." He places his hand at the small of my back and leads me into the main part of the villa where everyone is crowding around us, desperate to hear what happened between us last night. 

The boys whisk James away, and the girls take me to the bedroom to have a bit of a gossip. "So?" Jodie starts, being the first one to ask. "What happened last night?"

I bite my lip before answering, "It was eventful to say the least." All the girls start to get excited, but I think they've got the wrong idea. "Not because of that, I got to have a video chat with my family and I got to talk to my daughter and everything."

"That's amazing, you're so lucky." Hannah smiles, clearly a little jealous, but not in a bad way.

"Not really lucky." I tell them, "I had a bit of a breakdown and James had to deal with all my tears. I feel bad for ruining our night in the hideaway." 

"I'm sure you can find a way of making it up to him." Jodie smirks, raising her eyebrows at me, and I know exactly what she's suggesting.

"Yeah." Zoe adds, "You could have some alone time in here, I'm sure we could keep all the guys out of the bedroom for an hour."

"An hour?" Asher questions, "That's generous. I give him five minutes max." I can't believe she just said that. Some things you keep to yourself, and that's one of them. But I think about what she just said for a moment; if it was Jodie who said that, I'd be finding it hilarious. And I hate myself for hating her.

"Not even that." I comment with a laugh, not wanting her to think I have a problem with her. If we're going to be living together in this villa for the next few weeks, the least I can do is try to be civil with her, even if she does have a problem with me.

"Violetta, can I have a chat?" Asher asks me, and I give her a confused look. Last time she asked for a chat, Skye tried to kiss James, so it's safe to say that I don't trust her. "Please?"

"Sure." I finally say, then follow her outside to the kitchen, leaving the rest of the girls in the bedroom together. When we get outside, I can see in my peripheral vision that the boys have spotted us together, and are pointing. They're probably excited that there's going to be some drama. "So what did you want to talk to me about?"

"I want to apologise." She starts, causing me to roll my eyes at her, I've heard that one before. "I mean it this time. Last night, I was thinking about everything I've done to you, and was thinking what I could do next to push your buttons. Then when you came in this morning and was nothing but nice to me, I realised that I've been in the wrong this whole time."

"You know, that's really big of you to admit that." I tell her, truthfully. I don't think I've ever seen Asher act with this much maturity before.

"And I know there's nothing I can say to make up for what I've done, but just know that you're a really nice girl and that you didn't deserve to be treated the way you were." She takes a deep breath, then continues. "And I know what you're thinking. You're wondering why I was so mean to you in the first place. And the truth is, I was really intimidated by you. You and James seemed to fit together so perfectly, and I was jealous that you found love so quickly."

"There's nothing to be jealous of," I say in an attempt to comfort her. This is a side to Asher that I've never seen before; her genuine side. "All couples are different, some take a bit more time, work, and effort. But that doesn't make them any less than an amazing couple. You just have to accept that love doesn't always come naturally, you have to go out there and hunt it down. And never let go of it when you find it."

"You're really smart." She smiles, and deep down I know that this is the end of our little feud.

"Oh, and Violetta, you should know something." Asher starts, placing her hand on my forearm. "When Skye first came here and we went for a chat, she told me that she wants to steal James away from you, that nothing will stop her from getting what she wants." She pauses slightly before carrying on. "Violetta, she's going to play dirty."

I move towards her and give her a big hug, "Thanks for telling me, Asher."