Because You're Different ✔

32. Persuasion

June

Charlotte was planning her one-year-anniversary with Nathan. I'd pointed out they'd only gotten together officially in April, but I didn't think she cared. Couldn't blame her. I wouldn't have cared either if he'd been mine. I'd celebrate anniversaries every day.

Hayley had taught me something she probably learned from Jennifer: bitching about some other girl behind their back. In my case, Charlotte. On the one hand, I loved it; I always felt relieved after a good bashing session. On the other hand, it made me feel ashamed of myself — the only reason that I didn't like Charlotte was that she was Nathan's, because apart from that, she was okay. If he knew what I was saying about his girl when he couldn't hear it... I was sure he wouldn't be amused by it.

"I still can't believe that bitch is already talking about that anniversary. Like, hello, does she even realize your birthday is literally happening first?"

"You said it again."

"What?"

"Literally."

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." Hayley frowned. We were sitting in the kitchen together, making our AP Spanish homework. Charlotte had just come by to pick up some important papers she'd forgotten and hadn't been able to stop herself from telling she'd found Nathan the 'perfect gift', whatever that meant.

"I wonder what she got him, though," I said. What would a girl like her buy her boyfriend? A watch? He already had one, the expensive one that'd belonged to his granddad. Another house? A city trip? A car? Herself in sexy lingerie?

Hayley smiled smugly. "Whatever it is, he'll never like it as much as your Christmas present."

With Hayley, I never knew if she was telling me what I wanted to hear, or if she genuinely thought that it was the case. I didn't think she realized I was actually in love with Nathan; she probably regarded it more as a challenge, something exciting to discuss. I lost count of how many times she told me I had to walk around the landing covered in a towel and then accidentally drop it when I was in his sight. One time, I lied I was going to do it, and she'd been so shocked it immediately confirmed she was just all talk. Maybe that was a thing she and I had in common; we were both living in a fantasy world.

A fantasy world in which he and I hadn't been interrupted by Charlotte and Sam last Christmas, but in which it'd just been the two of us. A world in which that glorious kiss on my cheek had been followed by one on my lips, and another one and another one, and a simmering confession that I'd always been the only one... If I'd only told Sam beforehand that it was simply one of my recipes, he wouldn't have had to screw everything up, and Nathan would've been mine now, and —

Yeah.

Fantasy world.

"I wonder if he told her what it was," I said.

Hayley shook her head. "Of course not."

I smiled at her determination. For all of the suffering Sammifer had brought us, there was at least one good thing that'd come out of it. Our friendship.

"He might have, though," I said. "It's not like abuela would ever be able to find out. And I'm not sure if he realizes I really meant it." The idea hurt; him sharing my secrets with his girlfriend, as if I was really nothing more than a little sister.

"Who realizes you really meant what?" asked a voice from behind me. I think Hayley's eye roll made me register that it was Sam earlier than the voice itself. They were always bickering; it was exasperating.

"Matt Granton," I said, without hesitation. If I'd let Hayley make up a lie, we would undoubtedly have gone down. "I told him he'd never be able to get a date for the dance."