The Unexpected Love

1. The Long Flight Home.

I thought I was ready for this, life on my own I mean. I thought my dreams would just be handed to me like a cake on a silver platter. A nice chocolate cake that was so rich and soft with a chocolate frosting. This cake was layered, three tiers, with the frosting in between each layer. Maybe with a gold sprinkling on top and my hopes on the side in the form of creamy vanilla ice cream. The silver platter was so shiny that I could see my stupid smiling face in its reflection. With my arms stretched wide ready to eat my cake but wasn't I a fool. Life was not that simple and boy it took one bad decision for me to find that out and quick. Once my finger tips touched a sliver of that platter,  reality came crashing in smacking it right out of my grasp. Again I could see my stupid face lose its goofy smile and turn mortified as I watch my dreams crash and burn.

Why me? I asked myself.

I asked myself this the whole flight back home to Ohio. Why me?

I was doing just fine with my life. Moving out of my parents house at the ripe age of 19, across country to California. The only place I thought my dreams lied. I wanted to be an artist, a famous artist that lived with her cat. Amazing I know, but that was my crazy dream. There was so many people who doubted me and I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to show them that I can eat my cake and have my ice cream too, me, Autumn Sire. So being the stubborn girl I am that's what I did, I got myself a nice apartment with money that I saved up since I was 15. I enrolled into an amazing fine arts school and I was living my best life, or so I thought. I was putting so much money out but was not making enough to keep my bank account even. Before I knew it my perfect life came crashing down on me. Now what do I do, was my only thought when I knew I couldn't pay tuition even worse, my rent.  The only thing I knew to do was to swallow my pride and call my mom. I was disappointed in myself. I wanted to make my mother proud and now I was going to be the embarrassment in our small town. That was one of my biggest fears of arriving back home, being made fun of.  A grown women, afraid of being made fun of. 

My mother comforted me over the phone through my tears and ugly sobs, telling me she was proud of me no matter what. I felt like she had to say that to get me home because other wise I would rather wallow in the streets wrapped in my own grief. Lord knows I did not want to face that women, after all it has been three years. I was 21 now and my head was so far up my ass I didn't even have the decency to visit my own mother. What kind of daughter did that, it took everything to be snatch from me and me on my flat ass to realize that. Realize that I was a crap daughter, I was just like my scum of a father. That was not who my mother raised me to be. She raised me to be kind and loving and I was just the opposite. Where has this heartless women come from. I was ashamed of myself. 

My mother raised me Autumn and my two older brothers, Cole and Nick on her own. My father left on and off again when I was only five. He was a heartless business man that would rather be between another women thighs then with his family. I had to grow up and watch my mother suffer through that. He would always pop up every now again just to see if my mother would come back, he knew she would because our mother always thought about us. She wanted us to have our father in our lives. Even if it destroyed her happiness she would do it. We were too young to notice the heartache the man was putting our mother through. It was not until I was 12, Cole was 15 and Nick was 17 that we noticed what was going on. Nick was our protector and man of the house since he was older. It took him giving our no good dad a beating to get him away from us for good.

Just the thought of my brothers made me sad. I loved my brothers and when they found out I was leaving, they begged me not to go. They wanted me to stay home with them and mom but being in the town was not for me. I could not find my purpose there. Not like them. I knew my brothers were involved with bad people and I always wondered if mom knew. I didn't want that for myself. Ever since they were teenagers they hung out with some pretty scary people in a local bikers club. This made me concerned for them but who  was I to tell them, I was only there little sister. They saw me as a baby. Although my brothers were up to no good, I was still proud of them. I probably wouldn't tell them that, being the stubborn person I was. They took care of me and mom, even when they didn't have to. They were teenagers tackling two jobs at a time, just so I could focus on my education. I tried helping when I turned 16, I got a job at a local diner, Danny's. I would put half of my pay in my savings jar and would try to give the rest to Nick to help out, but he would never take it. This always made me smile, I loved my brothers, they had to grow up quicker than they needed too.

For some odd reason, I always felt at fault for this. I know I can't control when I am born but, I always felt as if I could have done more. That was one of the many reasons I left, I felt like a burden. If I left, that was one less person in their pockets. I wanted them not to worry about me, to focus on our mom. Now, I felt as if I made it worse. Now I know they must have been worried sick about me while I was gone. I was a inconsiderate bitch that only worried about herself. While I was gone I would only call maybe once a week if that. For some reason I believed that they wouldn't care about me if I left. Why was I so stupid, it took me three long years to grow up. I still had more growing to do but at the moment all I want to do is apologize for being the worst sister/ daughter on planet earth. That might be a stretch but that's the way I felt at the moment.

I've always been a strong girl, my mother taught me to never take anyone's shit. I stood strongly by that. Sometimes this trait could get me in a world of trouble. I didn't take help well from people outside of my family, I barley ask for help from my family. I knew this was the cost of my down fall, I was too stubborn to take a helping hand. That's the whole reason I was taking a flight back to Oak woods, Ohio. A decent sized town an hour away from Columbus. It was big enough for a Walmart but not big enough to keep a secret. Everyone knew everyone's business and that was one of the downsides of this town. I honestly didn't miss that part.

I turned my head to look out the window of the plane and watched the sun start to peak over the white clouds. The flight had been peaceful but I couldn't sleep a wink. My nerves made me feel as if a ball was bouncing inside my belly. My cold, sweaty hands rubbed my belly the whole flight. I haven't been this nervous since my first flight to California. I could gag, I hated this feeling. The feeling of just not knowing. Not knowing how my family would act seeing me after three long years. Not knowing how I will act. How have things changed, I know they have. This was going to be a big adjustment for me. My wouldn't stop racing and I couldn't decide if I was cold or hot. Once I put my jacket on from the cold, I would have to rip it off from being too hot. I knew it was the result of my nervous mind. The closer we got to Ohio the worse it got.

My nerves was no better when I heard the pilots voice come over the speaker, we were here.

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Honestly..can't believe this. Another story out, it feels as if I have not written in forever. I plan to post one chapter every week, hopefully I can keep up with this.

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