SOMEONE YOU LOVED | sean&kaycee

8

I DELETED AND REWRITED AND DELETED WAY TOO MANY TIMES BECAUSE- idk :/
warning: maybe,, boring
word count: 2.4k words

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if she could go back to bed one more time, she'd do it.

when she first woke up, her head was pounding — the type where you just know you had a good cry because your brain is dehydrated and just beating on all sides of your skull painfully.

she looked in the mirror, and she looked hideous — she looked like she came out of billie eilish's music video set with her crazy hair and puffy eyes. she didn't exactly have the energy to be a person, especially when she felt like there were two boulders holding her whole existence down.

but kaycee rice was kaycee rice — she needed distractions, and she needed to be productive even when she was mental-marathon-race exhausted.

she needed to forget last night. she needed to get over last night. she needed to learn that her world should still spin and revolve without him in it. she needed to get her shit together, and start caring for herself more instead of other people who cared no longer. she needed to stop hurting over people who wouldn't bat an eye.

it's a long way ahead, but a day of her and only her and not that one boy would be a start.

staring at the mirror, she started the day with an attempt at giving herself the realest smile she could pull off. "you can do this, kayc. you lived a decade of your life without that boy — you can do it all over again."

"so, uhh, my mom's out the back trying to clean the pool while i," she did a little twirl with her meal in her hand, a toothy grin on her face as she looked at the camera, "eat my food with kino because my sister, kylie, and my brother, devon, have better things to do than my boring day. also, my dad's helping out my mom if you wanna know."

she softly patted her dog, kino, on the head before she turned back to the camera, "since i'm already done stretching and doing my little workout awhile ago, i'm going to take a shower after eating because i am honestly really sweaty."

kaycee didn't know why, but she paused for a second and awkwardly giggled. definitely have to delete that out later. "showering and just taking your time in the bath also helps you relax. i don't know why but i take ages in the bathroom just because the water is just way too good. also, skincare is another way to.."

"..so i'll see you when we get to that! woop!"

she reached over the counter to her camera and stopped recording. it was still a struggle with where to place the camera every time she does her kitchen bits but it was a process she's learning every time the tripod falls over.

knowing that she hasn't posted videos in a while, a self-care video would be great to make. right? it was relatable and fun, plus it was something she was actually doing in the moment. so it was the perfect video idea she could pull off.

she had a selfcare listed before she left the peace of her room. there were things like finishing a workout routine, eating a good breakfast, doing a skincare routine, sorting out her room, answering schoolwork, writing poetry, dancing and taking the dog out for a walk. they were little steps, but they were steps closer to caring for herself.

the shower took longer than expected and her skincare routine felt more soothing than the last time she did it. by the time she was done, she legitimately felt a hundred times better already. her cheeks had more life in them, and her hair was an organized wet mess of curls, and she was a lot brighter than hours ago.