SHY | DAHMO

Chapter 8: An apology

Dahyun's P.O.V (Point Of View)

The clock was ticking, the people were screaming and the staff hurrying as I anxiously waited backstage, trying to calm myself, but I felt like I was going to die before I even stepped on stage.

It was finally the day. The day of the concert.

I never had stage fright but something made me scared today, maybe it was that my father and brother were attending the concert.

"Dahyun-ssi is everything OK?" Namjoon's deep voice broke me out of my thoughts.

"Ah hello Namjoon-ssi! Uhhh yeah everything is fine" he sat beside me on the small couch at the waiting room.

"You're going to kick ass" Namjoon said in a serious tone but immediately started chuckling afterwards.

He could clearly tell how anxious I was and quickly picked up his guitar "Wanna practice one more time before we head out?" he asked pointing at the instrument, being almost sure that I was anxious about singing live.

"Ugh I don't-" I started but got cut off by him starting to play.

"I know your song sounds way different on the guitar than the piano but it's good I promise" he lastly said before beginning singing my song.

I didn't join in the singing as I carefully looked over at him, eyes closed and his face calm as he went over with the song. The emotion in his voice spoke volumes as the song came to an end.

He later jumped up, dragging me up too "You're amazing, you can do this!" he smiled "Besides, you're truly talented. Even if you think your vocals are bad they're not" he started "Your voice is unique and fits perfectly with the tune of the piano" the older aud "And when you're done with all of this we can even do some classes to improve your technique. It's a waste being so talented but not using your voice right, you know?" he offered, moving in for a hug.

I loved the fact that when I was with Namjoon I didn't really have to talk, he did all the talking for me. It's like he knew what is exactly going on in my mind at any time.

"Do you think they'll come?" I finally asked, breaking the hug. He stayed silent for a moment.

Maybe this was the actual reason I've been terrified to go on stage. I know my voice is okay but the possibility of the girls attending wasstressing me out. It would've been really heart breaking to see them standing in the audience, supporting me while I did the exactly opposite.

"The real question is do you want them to come?" he replied, looking at me as his smile faded in a serious expression.

"Dahyunie you're out in 1' " the staff shouted and before I could even register Namjoon's words I was waiting by the end of the stage, ready to make my first ever appearance in Korea.

[...]

I slowly walked my way from the end of the stage to the middle of it, standing on the small "x" sign that indicated where I was supposed to be standing for most of the performance. The lights werestill shut, the chatter and shouting from the crowd was clearly heard even with my ear-in monitor.

I inhaled sharply while the lights shined open and the cheering got louder and louder. Looking down at the crowd my worries suddenly faded and my dorky self mades its appearance as I gained my confidence back.

"Hey Seoul how are we feeling tonight?" I shouted in the mic, scanning the crowd only to see happy faces cheering. "Let's have a great time tonight, yeah?" I said once again before going on with my performance.

[...]

Everything was amazing, I was energized and the crowd seemed to love my performance.

There was only one song left, the one people haven't heard yet. "So for the last song.." I started and my anxiety rise dramatically "The last song is something I wrote" I continued as the crowd went wild "I wrote it because of some events that took place in my life before I started doing music" everyone was cheering my name. "This song is an apology, an apology I didn't have the guts to make to the people I love in person" was the last thing I added before sitting down on the piano that was placed at the very middle of the stage.

My fingers grazed over the keys as I steadied my breathing. The moment I started playing the crowd went silent, the only thing heard were the piano and my voice that was echoing all the way from the stage to the back of the venue.

I closed my eyes getting more into the song and blocking everything and everyone out. It was like I was by myself in my room writing, not being heard or criticized.

And I felt everything all over again like the day I was finishing the song. My mind filled with memories and images from my last moments with my friends, from the last moments in Korea.

The image of Chaeyoung's swollen eyes and sad smile stuck on my mind. I felt the way her small body hugged me so tight the night at the airport. I heard her whimper and sob by my ear all over again. "I'm sorry, sorry. I hope you forgive me" everything was getting too real, my heart beating faster, the emotions taking a toll on me.

I slowly opened my eyes and scanned the crowd once again. I noticed Seokjin standing pretty close to the stage smiling. Tears immidielty well up in my eyes as I moved my gaze from my brother to the very familiar, short figure beside him.

"Hurting you wasn't my intention" my voice shook as I spotted all 7 of them, their eyes locking with mine.

"I'm sorry, sorry-" I breathed out, completely breaking down by the end of the song even if I had promised myself not to cry, my emotions were getting the better of me.

My hands fell from the keys to my lap as my gaze moved from the girls' surprised faces to the ground. Tears rolling effortlessly down my cheeks while the stage lights started to shut, indicating the end of the concert.

"Dahyun-ah!" A voice screamed out from the crowd that was silent for the whole 4 minutes of my performance.