Sometimes I sit and think about my Bf xXLove-And-HateXx and I think about how amazing he is and how I miss him so much and constantly tell others about how amazing he is but how he misses out on so much because he's not here,he's already missed 3 marked special Days which is the first of these past 3 months
And he hasn't been talking to me for 2 months soon to be 3 and I constantly want to share things with him but I never know if he reads it or not and not to mention I'm barely ever on here,I'm either on YouTube,Instagram,Facebook, Messanger Or Amino Talking To others about him,he is always my daily topic like I never stop talking about him even though it hurts me to right now, and If I'm Talking To a guy trying to make friends I'm always trying my best to let Squishy Know that I'm talking to guys and that I'm not trying to flirt with them or anything just simply talking to them cause I feel more comfortable talking to them then I do girls often times but that's kinda hard to explain to someone who's not here......
But besides that fact,Squishy has Missed 2 holidays that I wanted to spend with him,Christmas and Valentines Day not to mention I'm always left alone on those holidays so like always I was look forward to talking to him and many important Days have went by where I thought "today's the day! Squishy is gonna talk to me again and I know it this time!" But then it never happens and I'm losing hope and I want to give up.....it hurts to say that but I want to because nobody knows how it truly feels when your here left alone waiting for someone who you love so much and there's nobody to help you through this because nobody understands it and I'm losing hope in him coming back because I don't know what's going on with him,nobody that knows him who I talk to is talking to me,I'm trying to keep pushing through and trying to keep that belief that he's gonna surprise me and come back some day but now it's becoming hard to believe my own words.......and I don't talk to anyone In The Family.....I don't even talk to any of their bfs or gf's cause I don't like talking to people
The only people I talk to out of those people
Is
DestortedSoul
&
-Shadow_Watcher-
And they aren't talking to me and aren't even online......
I would like to know what's going on with my boyfriend......I know I'm barely active but I'm always open when it comes to messages cause I have my notifs on for that but yet neither of you take the time to talk to me and you both know that I'm concerned for Lucia....but I know neither you or anyone else Believes me because Often times I can't explain what I want to say in words that sound true to myself even after reading what I say,I feel like what I'm saying is a big fucking lie to myself
