Blanket Of Stars | jensoo

pillow talk

I used to love weekends when I was little and not just because it was a two day pass to do whatever I wanted. After accompanying my parents grocery shopping, I mean. On a Saturday morning I loved getting up early to watch cartoons. I could give you a list as long as my arm about why I loved them, they're probably the same reasons you have.

On the mornings I couldn't get out of bed because it was so cold all my mother had to do was tell me the fire was on and I could watch cartoons and I would practically fly down the stairs.

It's inevitable that once you're used to a certain standard that everything else fails to compare. Cartoons these days are nothing to compare, old school is where it's at.

I think it has something to do with a lot of them not actually being cartoons anymore. Nothing is original.

I've noticed as time goes on people get greedier, more becomes less. Nobody is happy with what they have, nobody looks at the things they do have but instead focus on what they don't have.

Like right now, I could die for a good cup of coffee, if you'll excuse the pun, but it isn't something I dwell on. I'm willing to bet that if I asked the entire world what they wanted more than half would answer with materialistic things.

If it isn't going to change your life, why is it important?

Less is more.

At least that's what I say, you're welcome to your own opinion of course. As is everybody.

Why do people look for acceptance from other people? Everybody's opinion of normal differs and as my mother used to say [along with everybody else's], if your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do the same? Your own opinion, go with that. Your gut instinct, trust that.

Last night my gut instinct was that it wasn't the best time to prod Jennie for answers.

She fell asleep early, I heard her breaths even out around 8:30 and she slept facing away from me. If I used to go to sleep before 9pm no matter how tired I was, I would wake up in the middle of the night for hours and drift off again some time after sunrise. God, I hated that.

Jennie has been awake for almost thirty minutes, give or take, it's a shame because I was enjoying the view of her face smushed against her pillow. The few times I've seen her sleeping she's slept on her back with one arm underneath her pillow and the other behind her head. She usually looks uncomfortable.

"Are you in here?" Jennie asks me with a low sleep filled voice, her eyes closed.

"Yeah," I say quietly.

"Can I ask you to do something really embarrassing?"

I smile slightly. "Sure."

It's a little while before I hear, "Will you wait outside the bathroom for me? I really need to pee."

"Of course," I say, already getting up off the bed.

I open the door and exit the room first, walking the relatively short distance to the family bathroom. "I'll just...wait here," I whisper, making sure I don't wake Jennie's parents and then realise I could shout from the top of my lungs and they wouldn't hear a whisper.

"Okay..."

I've fallen asleep out here before. I've slept in every room of this house more than once. I wonder if there are people who have grown up in houses and only slept in one or two rooms. I don't know why it matters to me but it does.

I've fallen asleep on the stairs for a few short minutes, one of the only times I got out of my mind drunk I was crawling up the stairs and got bored halfway up so I just lay there. Jin's foot poking at my ribs woke me up and I knew I hadn't been there long because I remember him saying he'd be up in five minutes to make sure I hadn't choked on my own vomit. Sweet little thing he is.