Splintered Heart (Camila / You)

chapter 20

(a/n) hi. for some reason some people weren't getting the new chapter so i'm re-uploading

Y/N's P.O.V.

I slowly made my way towards the wooden door that led into Camila's apartment. It'd been about a week since I dramatically stormed out. Well, four days to be exact.

I'm definitely nervous for this. I mean, what she said was so uncalled for but I'm now aware that she probably is going through shit because of my actions. I know not to blame myself, but I can't help but feel guilty of what I'm putting Camila through.

On the drive here, I decided that maybe we should take a small break and just remain friends. At least until I can work out my problems and not freak out over small things.

I shook away my thoughts, realizing that I'm just staring at the dark wood. I brought up my closed fist, knocking a few times. Within five seconds, the door flung open and I was met with a blur of brown hair. Two small arms wrapped tightly around my neck.

"Y/N! Oh my God," Camila yelled, squeezing my neck tighter. I brought up my arms, returning the hug. "I missed you so much." She pulled away, looking me in the eyes, her arms still hung loosely around my neck. "Are you okay?" Camila asked softly.

"Yeah. I guess." I gave the girl a small smile. Her eyes fell to my lips before she began to lean in. Once her lips landed on mine, I began to reciprocate before pulling away abruptly, meeting large, brown, and confused eyes. "W-we need to talk." I removed my arms from around her small waist and made my way into her apartment.

"Uhm...o-okay." Camila stuttered, nodding towards the couch. I made my way over, making sure to leave her spot vacant for her. I know how cranky she gets when she has to sit anywhere else. "So...what's up?" Camila sat on her spot, sending me a nervous glance.

"Listen...after what happened. I think it'd be better if we're just friends for now." I cleared my throat.

"Y/N, we can work through this. I know what I said was really fucked up and I apologize. But, really? A break?" Camila seemed to feel bad. I could tell this was hurting her and as much as I hated that, this is what I need. What we need.

"This is gonna be good for us okay? We can still hang out. Just nothing to...intimate." Man, this is getting awkward.

"So...friends." Camila sighed, running her hand through her hair. "If you think it's best, then I'll support that. I can't lose you though."

"No, no. You won't. Trust me. I can't lose you either. We'll stay friends and if more comes later then...okay." I sent her a reassuring smile. "In the meantime, I'll stay with Kait."

"You don't have to do that." Camila rushed out. "I mean...I have a guest room. You can just stay there."

"I don't know, Cami—"

"Please. I hate being here alone." She begged.

"A-alright. Okay, I'll stay." I replied. An awkward silence fell between us.

Camila cleared her throat. "I'm gonna be flying to L.A. in a couple days. I was gonna ask you to come but like...ya know."

"I'll go. But actually as friends." I smiled.

"Okay," A smile finally grew on the small girl's face. "I guess it'll be easier to play us off as friends now." She giggled, trying to lighten the mood.

"Yeah, I guess so." I chuckled along.

"Now what?" Camila asked.

"Well...wanna get food?" Camila's eyes lit up.

"Oh my God, yes." She practically moaned. Making me shift uncomfortably. "Can we get pizza?"

"Uh yeah. Of course." I stood up, moving towards the door.

————

Camila's P.O.V.

We just arrived in L.A. and yeah...it's a little awkward. Being with Y/N and not being able to kiss her or hold her hand is a foreign concept for me. I mean, I'm used to it when we're in public, but when we're just relaxing and watching a movie, or reading together, it's just so weird.

Just the other day I almost kissed her goodnight. Luckily, she stood and left the room with a quick 'night, Camila' before I could embarrass myself.

Oh, that's another thing. She stopped calling me by my nickname. She used to only do that when she was mad, but now it's a regular thing. Saying I hated it would be an understatement.

All and all, I just feel super alone. Y/N's still here so that's good. But, I can't hold her or touch her really. I don't know what's worse. Not seeing her and not having her, or seeing her daily and not having her.

She seems to be getting better though. Right now she's in the other room on a video call with her therapist. I put in my earbuds to block out her conversation. My confused brain decided that All To Well by Taylor Swift was the perfect choice. Not smart.

I closed my eyes as I began to feel my tears well up. Just as the first fell, I felt the hotel room couch shift, letting me know that someone sat down. I jumped, wiping my eyes, and pulling out my earbuds.

"What's wrong?" Y/N asked in a concerned voice.

"N-nothing. How'd it go?" I asked, purposely trying to avoid talking  about me.

Y/N looked at me skeptically at first, before deciding, thankfully, to drop it and move on. "Uh, I'm back on my meds and I'm gonna stay on them for a bit. She thinks it's best so...yeah." She explains, running her hand through her hair.

I nodded in acknowledgment. An awkward silence fell between us for what felt like the hundredth time in such a short while. Not being able to stand the tension any longer, I stood up quickly. "I'm gonna go to bed. Night." I gave an awkward smile accompanied by an equally awkward wave, and left the room before more tears could fall. I lay in bed, running through our tumultuous relationship. I don't know if I'll get her back this time. It hurts so bad just knowing she'll never be mine again because I couldn't keep my fucking mouth shut.

After a few hours of mindless tossing and turning, I climbed out of bed, making my way towards the kitchen for a drink. My idea was to have a glass of water but once my eyes landed on the still-corked bottle of wine, I changed my mind.

Within a half hour, I was downing the last sip out of the bottle. Everything was spinning, due to the fact I hadn't eaten and I just drank a whole bottle of wine in under an hour. It all still hurt though. I still felt the horrible pain of not having the girl I wanted more than anything. My mind raced with different ideas of distraction before landing on one that made my body tingle.

Sex.

The first person I wanted would never sleep with me. Not now. So the next best option came to mind. I grabbed my phone, opening the familiar contact. Even being as drunk as I was, I was proud of my capability to type out my question accurately. I smiled triumphantly and hit 'send'.

hey......r u srill uo?

(a/n): i'm back!!!!!
so it's been a lil while....sorry bout that. anywayyyyyy who do ya think Mila texted?????😏😏😏

p.s. i'm thinking of other ideas and my favorite ones consist of a book of one shots based off songs (this would be a collection of original one-shots) and a fic based on The Awakening by Kate Chopin (ik it's an old book but damn it's good; also if you don't know what it's about, use spark notes or smth).

p.p.s. HAPPY 22ND BIRTHDAY CAMILA!!!!!! she's growing up WAY the fuck too fast 😪

thanks for reading❤️