minnow // sirius black

fourty-three

43 : mrs. black

Having to tell Sirius that the most violent, and terrifying, vision that I had ever had was of his brother's death was extremely painful.

The moment I was back in my own body, I was crying. Part of me knew that the vision was different, that it wasn't a warning. It was simply... the reality.

There was a stillness in the air, as Sirius stared at me. When I told him it was Regulus, he jumped up, telling me to side-apparate with him. As he realized I was doubled over, crying, in my spot, he gently asked why we weren't going to save him.

I told him it was too late, that not only was I sure that the vision was happening at the same time he was dying, but I could not apparate to him. He was in a cave, where there were intense anti-apparation magic, and I had no idea where it was. Sirius stopped, he dropped his pants onto the floor and stared at me.

I watched him, closely, as he slowly sat back onto the bed, his eyes gently sliding away from me and to the bed.

Sirius didn't speak for a long time, and as the tears continued to fall from my own eyes, tears welled in his. He let out a low sigh, his shoulders beginning to shake as his brother's death washed over him. Part of me wished he and Regulus never reconnected - for Sirius' sake, but I was so grateful - for Regulus'.

I crawled to Sirius, wrapping my arms around his head as I pulled him to me. He cried, hard, as he wrapped his arms around my waist. He held me tightly.

That morning, I went back to Lily and James'. My heart was in my stomach as I did the knock.

The door swung open quickly, and Lily immediately deflated as she and I stared at one another. She gently said she expected Regulus.

"He's dead," I said quietly. Lily's hand flew to her mouth as she gently grabbed my arm, pulling me into the house. She called for James, her voice shaking. "I got the vision last night, he drowned in a cave. He was getting that thing that Voldemort was protecting... there was no possible way to save him."

As Lily softly cried, James asked me if he should come by the house to see Sirius. I shook my head softly, admitting he wanted to be alone. James nodded.

I left, and as I walked back home, I let myself cry.

For nearly two weeks, I had nightmare, after nightmare, of Regulus' death. I had vivid nightmares of the way his face fell into such a desperate fear. How he told me cared for me, that he could have grown to love me the way Sirius did.

A hundred million things about that night were brought back. The simple relief that he saw me, the sadness in his face when I last saw him in person; the calmness that came after his heart stopped beating. The way that the pain and fear seemed to snap away. The screams of the dead, and the way my lungs felt so tight and constricted. The nightmares of the drowning brought back nightmares of the times my lungs filled with blood.

The nightmares of his screams brought back the nightmares of when I died.

The nightmares of that snap of calmness brought back the nightmares of when my parents died.

After a few nights, it seemed like Sirius was comforting me more than I was comforting him; and I felt awful for it. His brother died. His only family died. Yet, he was comforting me?

In that time, I would have done anything for Sirius. I would have given him the world, and more.

A week passed when we got a letter from Walburga Black. In the letter, she informed Sirius and I of his father, Orion's, passing. She said, curtly and in few words, that Orion died the night before; a wake would be held in three days time. She said she'd appreciate it if we at least showed up for a moment.