Truths untold

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We are the future (unfortunately)
The past is dead and gone (probably for the best)
We are the chosen ones (what a shame)
But once we waste our potential away on the generations that will proceed this one, then what's the point of out pointless lives as they then become pointless just trying to achieve the same exact thing those before us.
It's a stupid cycle that doesn't work, besides nothing is actually changing. Open your eyes people!

Over all point is There's no hope for the future.
Kids grow up imitating and learning ideals from their parents. More often than not kids adopt there parents views as there own. Therefore endless cycle, don't you see it yet?!
Does any of this make any since yet? NO! Because we spend our whole childhood being told we are the future but it's a lie because soon WE are the ones telling children that THEY are the future and we waisted away all that hope just for this cycle to plow on through and nothing. Changes.
the views are pretty much the same as they have always been. Again it's stupid, but think about it.
Every age has a problem that becomes more and more accepted as time passes, And then a new one arises. It's all just a big scam of you ask me.

It's all one big problem
My teachers always say "same class, same people, different faces." Nothing changes and nothing deviates from the norm. You might think you are but your not. Most successful people become so not by actually being successful but by failing. So everything you ever work towards won't ever get you the results you were working for your whole life.

I read a book once, a perall world was discovered and to the main character the thought of how happy this girls alter self was, ruled her mind and she focused on that "other terra" rather than then the current mess of her life, which was completely average. It was not a very good book but that's another point.
We are all the same, all average. Dare I say insignificant.
That's our problem we get so focused that it's to... I don't know, saturated or something... who cares.
We all start feeling guilty on being so focused that we miss the now and then later regret missing it and continue to not live In the present because we are to busy with our regrets and stress

In reality we are a fragil society that refuses to accept individual insignificance. If some random person dies you don't care. That persons life is centered on themselves so they think they are important. If someone important or known dies then people care. Some more then others. People die, we move on, end of story.
We are all being led down a path that says in order for someone else to care about your life you have to own a sense of significance that doesn't exist. We are all trapped in this illusion of importance.

I guess With me, I always feel that impending realization of how pointless we all are. Wow this got sad I'm gonna go find some grapes (does grape pie exist because if it doesn't then what are we doing with ourselves) before this continues any further but you get what I'm trying to say?
Ahhh who am I kidding, I'm not suppose to care what others think but I can't help it, I'm human.






It's been a about half a week and as you can tell life kinda took a turn for the worst, just like I expected, good things never last long anyway. I should have expected this. My little tangent above was inspired by my psychology class today and it only served as fuel for my irritation. Dan was at school but he's been avoiding me and distracted. As much as I'd love to get to the bottom of his inconsistencies I got my own stupid problems! As selfless as that sounds, he can handle himself.

Jason is back at it again! Why can't he just stop for one second and see that what he stands for is stupid. Just because he's a perfect student that excels at every class, apparently makes him all high and mighty. Whatever idiot. He is by no means a nice person. Apparently I'm his favorite "target to pick on" cause no one else in this crappy school is interesting enough to warrant his attention. He's just so aggravating. He never does anything drastic enough to gain unwanted attention but it still exists. Whatever lame excuse he has, is most definitely a poor one. I hope someday someone knocks some sense into that head of his!
Jay seems to believe that everyone is at his beck and call and we must answer to him all because his mom is a well respected teacher, one of the better sports players (though you got to admit he's a great athlete), and has the principles blessing of free reign.

He's really getting on my last nerves. Shoved in halls, rude comments that I can obviously hear, he even had the nerve to steal my notebook with all my homework listed and put it in the water fountain. I'm not that mad cause I wasn't really planning on doing my work (overrated and all) but it still hurts. Touching MY stuff like he owns the place. I hate this school.... The only positive thing to come out of today isn't even all that amazing in my eyes, in fact it's quite lame. I have toutoring after lunch with a senior named Sara over my crappy math skills. I don't care much for it but apparently others are concerned about my grades. She's not that bad though, she's actually kinda cool. If I remember correctly she has a younger brother, z something (I heard he's not all there mentally) I mean no offense to that, but it makes sense on why she's a tutor. She's really good at explaining things simply.

Jay apparently decided that today is a good day to mess with me and this is a conveniently good time. He crashes in and start hitting on her all while simultaneously spilling milk on my work. I heave a heavy sigh and just try and hold everything together. No need to get in trouble and have to stay after. Sara does not seem impressed in the slightest, go Sara I guess.
Jason finds something more interesting as his advancements have been unsuccessful, and departs for now. Thank goodness. Eventually Sara bids me good day as the period has come to a close. She's nice but I know for a fact she's a force to be reckoned with. If jay had kept pushing she would have his arm behind his back in a split second. Respect? Ahhh who am I kidding, all I care about is making it through the day.
Lucky me. I have only 2 classes left then I can leave and hope that something happens so I won't have to return to this dump
I make it through without anymore incidents with jay. Don't know how I avoided him. Why does he have to pick on me of all people.
I have no idea why but dan wouldn't give me the time of day and just talk to me. If he won't tell me that's fine, it's his problem. He's really confusing sometimes. Maybe he just needs time or whatever. It may not seem like it but I do care, I just try not to worry over it to much. After all it's his life, not mine.

I do eventually make it home and dad is passed out on the couch. I have noticed that he seems more exhausted then normal, wonder how work is holding up. I can't help but think of what mom would say If she saw us....Hope she's doing ok, saw that they are experiencing some rain for the time being.

I don't really think I can mentally handle anything right now but I'm not tired. I eventually settle on laying on my bed and staring at my ceiling with my headphones on for the next few hours till I decided otherwise. Next time I look at my clock it's 1:26 am. Dad never came to get me for food or anything so I can only assume he's still asleep on the couch. Wonder what has him so worn out? I'm still not tired but I don't really want to do anything... I end up spending most of the night passing time by attempting origami.
Sometime around 4 I hear frantic movement and then the awful sound of someone puking. So that must be why he's been so tired. My father has a tendency to get nauseous a lot. I figured he wouldn't want me to know, so I stay put and crank my music louder. I make him a paper crane to hopefully make his day. I know in my head he will probably be fine.... I can't help but worry though. I just try my best to put it out of my head.

I eventually do fall asleep and get like half an hour of sleep but that's not unusual. I get ready for the day and go quietly check on my dad. He's back on the couch with a bucket and and empty glass next to him. I sigh and refill his glass with water and put a bottle of dad friendly nausea meds on the table next to him. I place the crane I made right along with it.
I also decided to be the best son ever and switch out the bin and make him toast. Im not sure what his problem is but I find him like this a lot. Mom says it's just a small condition and it's nothing to worry about. I can only assume she knows what she's talking. I hope he has enough self preservation to call himself off work or at least work from home. I check the clock and see I still have 10 minutes before I have to leave. I'll probably take my bike today so I can go to the lake for a bit, give dad some space. After throwing on my shoes, I toss a light blanket over my dad before I head out the door.

Time start another day of torture.

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