Sheets | ✓

THIRTY-FIVE

"Wait, wait, wait," Benny suddenly spoke, pausing the game before turning to me. After, well, "coming out", Benny and I had relaxed into our normal routine, which was both surprising and comforting. Apart from the occasional question about my relationship with Nico and other related matters, Benny didn't dwell too long on the whole 'gay' thing, which I was grateful for. Expecting another question about Nico, I put my own game controller down and turned to Benny, only to find his face gravely serious. Flinching a little at his troubled expression, I found myself growing nervous again.

"Benny...?" I asked carefully, Benny's finger tapping on his leg.

"Um... but since you're, you know, with Nico and all... where does that leave Sofia?" Benny asked, and I blanched visibly. Seeing my ghostly complexion, Benny sighed heavily. "Damn, Wes. Who would've thought that you out of all people would be stuck in a love triangle."

"Ugh, what love triangle," I spat, hairs rising on the back of my neck. "Sofia... Sofia and I were never a thing... I've told her that." Pausing slightly, I scratched the back of my neck meekly. "At least, I've been trying to tell her that."

"Well, I think you've gotta try harder, Wes," Benny said, patting my arm. "You're my bro and all, but if you lead her on then you're kind of being a dick. I know you like dick, but I'd rather my best friend not be a dick, you know?"

Giving Benny a withering look at his quip, I rubbed my eyes as the whole situation with Sofia started nibbling at my conscience again. 

"Trust me, Benny, I've really tried to tell her. It's just... hard," I said, Benny nodding. "And, it's like she doesn't want to hear what I have to say."

"Have you tried messaging her?" Benny asked, and I nodded emphatically.

"Yeah, I did - it took me a good three days to write out one message, but I did. But... apparently she doesn't get phone service overseas, and her hotel internet is dodgy so..."

"The fuck," Benny said, raising a brow. "Those are bullshit excuses if you ask me."

"Well, I didn't, but yeah," I said, rolling my eyes. "That's kind of always how it goes with Sofia... Any time the conversation even begins to smell of something she doesn't quite like, she just bolts and cuts me off. I don't even know what to do..."

"Well, you've got to let her down some time, Wes. If you told her about you and Nico she would definitely-"

"Not. Definitely not. We are definitely not telling her about me and Nico," I hastily said, slapping my hand over Benny's mouth as if he just cursed in front of a toddler. "I'm not telling anyone except you. If other people knew..." The thought of Sofia knowing... of Rachel, Leo and Parker knowing... of the whole school, my family, the world?

The thought made the bile rise up in my throat.

"I'm not... I'm not ready," I whispered, Benny casting a concerned look from above my hand clamped over his mouth. Pushing my hand away from his mouth gently, Benny gave me a small smile.

"Yeah, sorry. Message received loud and clear, Wes. If you're not going to come out officially, you just have to be straight forward and, you know, tell Sofia that you're not into her... or any girls for that matte- OW." Benny winced when I punched him in the arm, rubbing at the spot as he sent me an "I'm kidding" stare.

"I already know that I have to tell her, Benny. It's just... a matter of how and when," I sighed, Benny nodding.

"Well, school's starting up again soon. She can't really avoid you when we have to go to school..."

"Yeah," I replied, nodding. "That just leaves the 'how', I suppose."

"Ack, worry about that another day," Benny said, kicking the game controller in front of me. "We've had enough deep and meaningful talks today, my brain's all tired from processing anything. To be honest, I'm still processing the whole Nico thing. I mean, you slept with hi- OW. WES. I GET IT," Benny hissed, rolling his eyes despite the goofy grin spread across his face. "Damn, my arm's gonna be all bruised now."