The Unwanted- /re-writing/

Chapter eighteen_(18)

••Greedy humans,
Soul collectors.
They'll suck you dry,
Till you're nothing but an empty vessel.
Then laugh at your emptiness,
And run you over, with malicious words••

       I ran and ran and continued running, out of the hostel and towards the school garden. I didn't even know how my feet carried me there. I just found myself hitting the familiar stone bench and burying my face in my hands, not caring how cold the midnight breeze was.

"Don't you think this is too much? Even for me?" I lifted my gaze to the star filled sky, tears still pouring out in gallons from my eyes as I spoke in a voice as silent as the night surrounding me.

"I mean, I have no idea what exactly it is I did wrong, but whatever it is, don't you think you're taking it too far?" I whispered to the sky, my heart breaking into a million pieces. If there really was an entity called God, I wanted him to hear me and listen to my pain. "I don't want anything again, I'll stop praying for anything. I'll stop wanting my mother's love, I'll stop praying for knowledge and understanding...I'll stop asking for anything from you, but please..." my voice broke, my neck already hurting from the upward position my face was facing. "...please stop this. I can't take any more. I...I can't." and I put my face into my hands and continued crying.

All the pain, insults, tragedies...everything I'd ever been through my entire life hit me like a bomb at that moment, intensifying every emotion I felt at that time and it was just too much. My head hurt, my heart hurt, my soul hurt; All of me was hurting, and it hurt so bad because I felt helpless and there was nothing I could do. There was no one to run to--no one even cared--and I was just alone with my pain.

Have you ever felt the strong need to vanish? Like just not exist anymore? That's how I felt. The pain was just too much.

And then I found myself wishing Wilson was there with me. I remembered his words from the previous day and how he'd hugged me and comforted me, and I wished he would be with me. Come to think of it, he'd always been there for me in one way or the other, and all I'd ever done in return was push him away. Maybe I really did have a problem, maybe I was really stuck with a bad fate and that's why all those things kept happening to me.

My crying session continued until my system ran out of water to convert into tears and the night breeze had turned up a notch in coldness, and I got up and trudged back to the dorms, feeling empty and completely drained.

I knocked on Faith and Ada's room door, shoulders feeling as heavy as a box of granite--it was a struggle to hold them up--and I waited to see whether they were still up. I was about to turn and head back to my own dorm and face whatever hell awaited me when the door clicked open and a worried looking Faith peeped her head out. Her features calmed as soon as she saw me and she grinned, showing off her braces before quickly turning her smile into a frown again.

"What happened? Mrs Kelechi left here hours ago and you didn't reply any of my texts. I thought you decided to sleep in your dorm or you got caught on your way here," her face still held the frown and I let out a long sigh, too exhausted to say anything.

"Will you let me in first?" I managed to say and then cringed at the sound of my voice. I sounded like I'd been having rocks for breakfast for a year straight.

"Sure, come in, come in," she ushered and practically pulled me into the room before locking the door behind her again.

"Hey, are you okay? You look like shit," Ada commented as I took a sit on her bed, my head pounding like a thunderstorm. I would have laughed at her straight-up non-sugarcoated observation if I knew how to, but at that moment, the only reaction my brain had was either to sigh or cry.