NOCTURNE » Nathan Prescott

» xiii. truth

You're not alone.
You're strong.
You're loved.

×

I called in sick the next day -- my parents had practically ordered me to stay at home before I could even ask them about it myself. I stayed in bed until noon, meaning I stayed in bed until I really had to get up in order to go to the bathroom. After washing my hands and splashing some water in my face, I stared at my reflection in the mirror for a while.

The dark circles that I usually had under my eyes were even more visible than normal -- I had constantly switched in between sleeping for a few minutes and waking up again, crying. It hadn't been a good night at all, but I hadn't expected it to be so it was okay. I'd drank a lot of coffee to avoid having a headache again. Since I had cried so much my nose and eyes, as well as the areas around them, were red. They had been for a while now.

I kept seeing Kate up on that roof whenever I closed my eyes, and just thinking that so many people had even filmed her then. When filming her was what got her up there in the first place. Humans really were awful creatures.

At some point however, there were no more tears and all that was left, was the sting in my eyes and the back of my head. It wasn't as bad as it had been last night. It was more like I'd just grown numb overnight. I hated that feeling the most -- feeling numb was the worst. It usually didn't last for too long but it was just so much worse than being sad or angry or confused or all of those at the same time.

Shaking my head I turned off the lights in the bathroom and went downstairs to the kitchen.

I didn't have an appetite at all, but I knew I had to get some food in my system or else I would pass out. I hadn't eaten since breakfast the day before. Aside from that I needed to still take my pills, and as weird as it sounded I already felt different not taking them just one time. Then again, the previous day had probably triggered a lot and my head still hurt so maybe it was just that. Just, I thought and almost laughed at how absurd that sounded.
After eating some yoghurt and mixed in fresh fruit I washed down my pills and stayed on the kitchen counter for another hour, staring out of the window above the sink.

NATHAN
Hey

NATHAN
You at school?

NATHAN
I need to talk to you.

NATHAN
It's important.

ME
Staying at home today

NATHAN
Can I come over?

ME
I guess

NATHAN
Be there in 30.

I sighed and hopped down from the counter, refilling the cat food, shuffling back upstairs to my room. I got changed into a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts and put my messy hair up in a loose ponytail. My hand hovered over the makeup for a few moments but I shook my head and fell back onto the bed.

Not too much later the doorbell rang and I dragged my feet downstairs to answer it.
"… Hello to you too," I murmured as Nathan rushed past me and went upstairs straight away.

After closing the door with a bit of a baffled look I scurried back to my room to find him sat at my desk, his laptop opened in front of him.
I took a seat on the edge of my bed, facing my friend's back.

"What's so important?" I asked and fiddled around with the hem of the sweatshirt.
"I need- …" He stopped himself, took a deep breath and started again, seemingly trying to stay calmer this time. "I need you to tell me the truth." -- "About what?"

Nathan turned around and held up the laptop. "This. There is no high school in Hastings that offers two-year-scholarships." He switched to a different tab and set the laptop back down. "And you're not in a single one of the photos uploaded over the course of the last two years on any social media or the website."
"Nathan, what the fuck?" -- "Where. Were. You."

I stared down at my hands as he turned back around towards the desk to close his computer, scoffing.
"Of course, everybody always-"

"I tried to kill myself."

It was silent for a moment. Nathan slowly turned around while I still stared at my hands that were wrapped up in the sweater sleeves.
"You what?"

I bit my lower lip and took a deep breath, avoiding eye contact.
"Two years ago, the last day of school before summer break- … I did research on what had the lowest chance of surviving and all that, you know? I bought a whole lot of stuff from Frank and overdosed." I tried swallowing the lump that was forming in my throat. "My parents, for whatever reason- they came home early that day and found me on the kitchen floor. They rushed me to the hospital and-"

I blinked a few times to try and get rid of the tears that were welling up in my eyes. "I didn't get better for a long time. That's why I was gone for so long. The scholarship was their idea and they never told me about it until I came back. They paid a bunch of people a fuckton of money to fill in that gaping hole in my files." Letting out a bitter laugh I wiped my cheeks with the sleeve to be safe.

"I didn't go to a high school in Hastings, but I kept up with school in the Hastings Mental Hospital a few cities away from here. I never even left the goddamn state, for fucks sake!"

After that it was silent for a really long time and the only thing I heard was my own heartbeat. Then Nathan got up and sat back down next to me, and that was the first time that I looked at him again.

"Are you better now?" he asked slowly and I sighed.

"I'm here, right?"

He nodded and placed a hand on my cheek, wiping away a tear with his thumb.
"I'm glad you are."

And with that he leaned forward, and our lips collided.