Do I Wanna Know? || Ashton Irwin

19

Last night could be summed up as incredible. Breathy I love you's were exchanged with sloppy kisses and excited touches. We were similar to the people we were before I moved to New York City. The feeling he gave me, the love he poured into me reminded me of what we used to be. And for that little bit where Ashton and I were only consumed in the music and each other everything was alright. He still knew exactly how to touch me to make me melt into him. He had every calculation remembered.

I rolled over on my other side, facing where Ashton slept, but with my eyes closed I could already sense that he wasn't in the bed. I was far too happy to consider the fact that he might've gotten the first flight back to the states. He wouldn't do that of course, my naivety was sure of it. He would not flee after a night of love and dancing on our balcony in our underwear to that mixtape on repeat, soon we got sick of hearing the same songs for the fourth time and flipped on French radio. We'd no clue what was being sung about, but we danced and we danced and we laughed and we smiled and we kissed and we loved until our eyes were heavy with sleep.

I slowly blinked open my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the Parisian sun beaming into the bedroom. This would be the first morning where I was not annoyed by the birds chirping outside and hearing all of the madness happening on the streets below. I was content with waking up in this scene because there was Ashton, standing on the balcony, looking at the view before him. He held a white sheet up around his hips since both of us were too tired to put any article of clothing on before we fell asleep. One hand relaxed into the rail as he took slow breathes, his head carefully moving side to side to study something new he would notice.

I quietly searched around for a phone, anyone's phone, to check the time. I found mine, but it was dead. I reached over to grab Ashton's instead, hoping to have better luck, but all I saw were messages from Sarah stacked on his lock screen. It wouldn't hurt to read them, right? I couldn't stop myself from scrolling through the messages and figuring out was was so important that Sarah had to send more than one text message.

Sarah: I found out the girls went to New York to see the guys and they didn't invite me, so I came to surprise you and you're no where to be found...
Sarah: You can't just disappear off the face of the planet when you're engaged. I need to know where you are at all times.
Sarah: Anyway, I have a doctor's appointment today at 3 for an ultrasound. I'm finding out the gender of the baby today and it's really upsetting that I don't know where you are or can't get in touch with you.
Sarah: Whatever, don't even bother responding. We'll sort this out when you're back. You know better than to do this.

Blinded by bliss? Yes, very much so. Could Paris be a sort of personality manipulator? Or a type of love manipulator? Blinding us all. My first instinct was to hop around the room, dress and pack at the same time and leaving Ashton, but I could not add another regretful departure to my list. I'd stay, wait it out. He'd fess up to this eventually, but I'd have myself fooled. Typical of me. Maybe he'd prove me wrong this time. He owed me that, at the least.

Did I have a right to be upset at this? I mean, I did look at his phone without his permission. That wasn't right. At the same time, we both had nothing to hide. We were both going through a shitty time and finding solace within each other. Could I show any anger towards this? His fiancee was pregnant and he was in Paris with his ex-girlfriend on a boning rampage. I thought we didn't keep secrets from each other, but god, was I always wrong about things when it came to Ashton. Just when I thought I was doing the right thing with him something popped out of nowhere to remind me that I was wrong. It was the back and forth nature of Talia and Ashton.

I locked his phone, placing it in the exact spot it was before.

"Good morning, Ashton." I propped my head up on the pillow, not bothering to hide the smile that he returned as faced me and started towards me. Every inch of him was contagious, wasn't he the man our moms warned us about?

"Hey babe." He crawled on the bed, kissing my lips. "Sleep well?"

I nodded my head. "Yeah." I spoke as if I knew nothing about a pregnancy. How long could I keep this secret from him? I'd say I had about four hours until I cracked. That was being generous. I only had so much time before I would say something purposely or accidentally.

He combed his fingers through his hair before pulling me closer to him. "What do you want to do today?"

Hm, what did I want to do today? Hound him for the truth of course.

"I kinda want to go shopping." Why not get a bit of shopping done in Paris while I was here? Surely, I'd opt to do this alone. It'd give me space to think - sort out this whole thing, get my mind in the right place to not make a complete big deal out of this. Though a pregnancy was a pretty big deal and I shouldn't have to venture off alone to not make something out of it. "So you can go off and do what you want."

"I won't do that." I guess he knew my next question would be, why not? "Because a beautiful girl should not roam Paris by herself. I'd like to buy you things as well."

"I have my own money and I'm perfectly capable of doing things alone." I assured. Because I did have my own money and I was capable of doing things by myself. I was able to be independent whether Ashton approved or not and I didn't need him to hound me when I wanted to be alone.

"Yeah, well maybe I want to spoil you while we're here."

Shut up, don't waste money on me when you secretly have a pregnant fiancee that you should be spending money on, I thought.